fuck this time and place

There's really nothing like waking up after a dream about a serial rapist. It just makes the birds on my windowsill and my cup of tea this morning so much better. I've had this serial rapist dream before. It takes place in this surreal hotel that's actually just the Box. Jess is dating him, and we're watching the news about the serial rapist. She becomes sure that he's the one and I convince her otherwise. Then I see him grab a younger girl in the hallway and take her into the bathroom and I know. I walk back towards Jess and just say "serial rapist, serial rapist" but there's not enough time for us to figure out what we're going to do about it. Usually it ends up that he cares about Jess so he doesn't plan to rape her, but he rapes me in front of her. This time he tried to rape me and all of the same physical feelings happened: I could feel my body go limp and heavy when he looked at me, everywhere he touched felt like pins and needles... He sat back on the bed and said "I can't fucking believe this". My rapist couldn't get an erection.

So he didn't physically rape me this time around, but I still feel like I usually do when I wake up from these dreams. Shouldn't I be feeling a little more in control?