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It's pretty amazing that I've spent the last five days cleaning like a tenant moving out, organizing and unpacking like I've just moved in, and making repairs like a landlord... and I'm still in the same house, and I'm not a grown up. I'm exhausted and still have hours of cleaning and organizing ahead of me. My body is falling apart. I'm all infected and my skin is breaking out and I just don't look or feel right.

I have been having really bad nightmares. Luckily I've been waking up with Steve over the last few days which helps. I've been doing things like waking up not breathing, or ripping out my nose ring in my sleep. All of the nightmares are upsetting, but really obvious. Lots of dreams about ghosts, Nomi screaming at me about all the things that are wrong with me, and my new roommate showing up at the front door with a giant ass axe and the intention to kill Tama, Nomi and I. I've been waking up feeling horrible and heavy.

I've decided to start up a new addiction. I'll make a present for whoever guesses what it is.