Slipped on a Kiss and Tumbled into Love

Back in the Goo things got off to a hilarious start this morning involving pipes and plumbers, phone calls, and a wrong number to Edith who was expecting a call. (Awwww!!!) I missed two buses and had to solicit a TJ ride to school which was so helpful, though I hate doing that! I pretty much have accomplished everything I had to do today though. I kept my appointments and even went to the gym. The GYM! Oh yeah.

So I'm going to try this new thing where I am more concious of what I'm posting in terms of the anxiety/depression/lack of reality part of my life. If nothing else it will make me focus on what I'm writing and maybe what's making me feel crazy. I've developed a vast confusion around reality at the moment and I feel like a giant cliche. (yeah I don't know how to make accent aigues on my computer). But maybe I don't want to be representing myself in the blogosphere as a cliche. On top of that I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish by publishing my various moments of struggle. I get few comments so it's not a response thing. Maybe I'm just sending it out there so that the few people that actually read this thing are aware of my troubles... But it's been the same damn trouble for awhile now and frankly I feel like they'll ask if they want to know.

We'll see how long this lasts but my general sense of how I want to exist right now is in a more focussed sate, whether that's positive or negative. I just have to figure out which part of me is the real one and where my old self got to. I prefer to be in an idealistic faery state as opposed to the muddy drenched funk I've dipped into lately.