and you know it's all around you /but it's hard to point and say "there"

I've stumbled back into the world of ani's Reckoning. But I wore my Evolve shirt today, so there must be some hope. There's something comforting for me in finding other ani fans after so many years of being the only one in my high school that had discovered the life saving abilities of this warrior songstress. Wearing the ani shirts is now a sort of calling. My favourite part is the code language surrounding the connections between us lovers of ani. When I wear my shirt, another fan will come up and say "I like your shirt". They will not gush about their love for ani, because she wouldn't want that. It's too superficial. So they sneakily identify themselves to me as a kindred in some way. A sister in the fellowship of difranco love. It happened today with a high school checkout girl at the grocery store, and about three weeks ago at the gym. Without the code I would have never pegged those girls as ani fans, but I'm glad they stepped out and engaged with me. With all of the bullshit out there it's nice that we can find some fellowship in the spaces between her notes. Some connection in everything she's meant for us and everything she's saved us from.


Funny. I started this post in the head-space of simply coming on to acknowledge how sad I have been in the past few days and that's why I haven't posted. I was going to mention how I cried on the bus on the way home tonight and had to hide it from the girl sitting next to me. I suppose i can't have my tragic beauty without a little melancholy now and then.