Everybody's Going Down

Why is it that I feel awesome for about two hours after I wake up and then there's a big destructive crash? Last night I held my event for Dec. 6th and it was good. It was such a perfect example of me being flustered and not grounded that about ten minutes into the event I came back to earth and was like... "right, this is an event about violence against women. I've experienced violence against women". And then I got all overwhelmed. There were only nine people there, but it was about right. People were crying and sharing and reading poems and that's what it was supposed to be. So it was good, but also exhausting in its intensity. The food afterwards was good though! I splurged on food since the rest of the event wasn't really costing anything.

Today I'm in that space of being far away from my next big school thing. I have a final paper due on Monday, and then two exams on Tuesday, and then I'm done. It's a good thing, but also a little overwhelming when I think about it right now. I'm having a major break down around this paper. Everytime I think about it I start crying out of frustration. I don't know what's wrong with me this semester but I really have been feeling incapable of writing. I'm hoping to ease myself in a little bit at a time so it won't be horrible. I also plan to devote most of my weekend to it, which is sort of scary for my two Tuesday exams that I have to study A LOT for. I guess what I'm saying is that today feels like a day that I can slack, but really I can't... at all.