Sex with Bex 2.3

Welcome to the Queer Issue’s Sex with Bex! This issue deals with sexy procrastinating, IUDs, and hanky codes. Sounds like a thrilling evening to me.

Keep sending your questions in to bexualintercourse@gmail.com and watch for them in upcoming Peaks. Lube up and stay safe!

Dear Bex,

I enjoy sex, and I enjoy procrastinating… any suggestions?
Busy and Horny

I actually just discovered that www.sexualityandu.ca has some fun quiz game type challenges that you can learn from and waste a whole lot of time on. Durex.com also has a downloadable game called “Egg Invaders” where you have to protect your egg from invading sperm that are trying to fertilize! Also procrasturbation… masturbating instead of doing your work… might be something to try. Have fun with that!


Hi Bex,

I've been really concerned about the environmental impacts of traditional contraceptives like birth control pills and condoms. I understand that the female hormones in the Pill end up in our drinking water and lakes, and have caused problems in fish populations as a result. On the other hand, condoms are made of latex, whose manufacture and disposal are polluting to the environment. What other options are out there, and are they safe? I know condoms provide the only proper protection (other than abstinence) from the transmission of STD's, but are there other forms of birth control that effectively prevent pregnancy without causing such environmental problems? I was wondering what you knew about Intrauterine Devices (IUDs), how effective they are, what the medical community has to say about them, how widely used they are, and how they work exactly?

Thanks
-Harassed by Hormones


Hi Double H,

For the sake of this answer I’ll focus on the IUD, but all of my information is from the Feminist Women’s Health Centre website and they have a thorough rundown of birth control options. So, IUDs are small T shaped objects that are inserted by a doctor up through the cervix and into the uterus and small strings hang down from the IUD into the vagina (they shouldn’t be noticeable during sex). IUDs can last 1-10 years and they work by changing the lining of the uterus and fallopian tubes, which affects movements of egg and sperm. IUDs are 99.2-99.9% effective as birth control (but not at all effective for protecting against STIs).

There are two kinds of IUDs available and only one won’t harass you with hormones. If you’re trying to avoid the hormones, you would want to choose the on that has a tiny copper wire wrapped around the plastic body. The other one releases small amounts of synthetic progesterone hormone that was added to attempt to decrease the bleeding and cramping some women have with IUDs. Women with a history of breast cancer should not use the IUD with the hormone and women with diabetes should be monitored carefully if they use it.

Your doctor will have to talk to you about potential risks specific to you, but if you have any of the following serious health problems you shouldn’t use an IUD: recent or repeated pelvic infection, known or suspected pregnancy, severe cervicitis, salpingitis, malignant lesions in the genital tract, unexplained vaginal bleeding, HIV/AIDS, history of ectopic pregnancy, history of Toxic Shock Syndrome, or if you have a physical inability to check your IUD.

My experience has been that my doctor prefers to prescribe IUDs to women who are in monogamous relationships and who have had children and need birth control but would prefer not to be on the pill. Basically, the IUD is a very effective form of birth control, but it may not be right for everyone, in every situation. Hope that was helpful! (http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/iudinfo.htm)


Dear Bex,

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot people with bandanas and such in their back pockets. I thought it was just a fashion trend, but I over heard someone recently talking about “hanky codes”. I was wondering if these bandanas are actually some kind of a code and where I can go to find out more about it?

Bandana Baffled


Hey B&B,

Ah secret codes, they make us feel like super spies and they can teach us so much about a person. Yes, “hanky codes” or “flagging” involves putting different coloured bandanas, fabric, or objects in your back pockets in order to signal your interest in various sex related activities, fetishes, and preferences. These codes started out in queer scenes as a way to subtly to mark yourself as queer as well to signal your sexual interests. There are a whole bunch of different colours with a whole bunch of different meanings and which pocket you place the fabric in makes a difference too (left means you like to be a “top”, right means “bottom”). I visited www.the-px.com/flagging.htm to find some examples of codes. Some of them are a little problematic for me, but here are a few that you might enjoy watching out for on campus:

Light blue: wants head/likes to give head
Teal blue: cock and ball torturer/looking for the torture
Fuschia: spanker/likes to be spanked
Black and White Checkered: safe sex top/safe sex bottom
White with multicoloured polka dots: hosting an orgy/looking for an orgy
Orange: anything anytime/nothing now (just cruising)

If you’ve studied up on your hanky code and you’re interested in trying it out you might want to come to the GQE Kink event happening November 3 in Peter Clark Hall. The theme this year is the gay hanky code and there’s going to be a whole lot of flagging going on!