where are all my friends?

I wish that my first thought when walking into a park was "yay trees!", but instead it's "crap, the pants I'm wearing is going to make raping me a lot easier." Where does one get some pepper spray? Despite my fear for my own safety, I'm planning to spend this afternoon on the grass somewhere. I may try to convince Ben to come with me, but I pretty much just want to write on the grass. The worst part is that lack of a safe feeling. Coming out of woods where I know every root and every stray branch and can walk confidently in the dark, or sleep confidently on the grass in the day time, it's especially frustrating that I can't have that safe feeling here.

I miss camp. They've called three times now to remind me that they love me and they miss me, and that the fact that they miss me keeps coming up in conversation. I'm very grateful for that. I'm sad I'm not there. And I have been effectively hiding from all of my friends for over a week now. I suppose I'm allowed a week of feeling strange about being home. I've pretty much been with Steve the whole time (which is excellent), but I suppose expanding my social life wouldn't be such a bad thing. I intend to make some phone calls today and get into contact with as many folk as possible... maybe.