Out of control and Into Steve's car

I went back to my crazy ways over the last few days. Perhaps time change and the snow and the intense darkness was too much for the pills to manage, or maybe the placebo affect has worn off and they don't actually work. I'm not sure. There was a lot of crying and shaking and hysteria last night. That's right, my uterus went nuts, detached, and started running like hell all over my body.

I had a moment of insanity last night were I convinced myself that because dinosaurs were so big, you must be able to see their individual sperm with your naked eye. This is, of course, ridiculous because cells are the same size no matter how big the creature... but it seemed so rational at the time! In the process of the discussion I learned that blue whales are bigger than dinosaurs, and when they ejaculate they release 400 gallons of semen, and only about 250 end up in their partner. Wacky. That is a whole lot of semen.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little more clear after my yoga-meets-dance class. We did a seven part yoga/dance flow to align our chakras. Maybe I should be getting up early enough to do that every morning. That might help a lot. Unfortunately I LOVE my bed, and I'm just very tired. I haven't slept well in over a week. I've been having dreams that disturb me long after I wake up. They are disturbing to the point that I haven't been able to tell anyone about them because of their content. I feel like people would look at me differently if they knew what my subconscious was tormenting me with when I close my eyes. It shocks me, and then I feel unsettled all day.

I'm hoping to get a big chunk of reading done tomorrow so that I can spend sometime writing this weekend. Writing and preparing for the whirlwind of the next couple of weeks... maybe months.