another?

So my grandad's been moved to the hospital. I'm not going to get on a bus to St. Catharines tonight and I feel okay about that. I might go tomorrow afternoon, but I'll have to get that together to decide tomorrow. At this point I don't feel like seeing him in the hospital is going to be helpful for him, for me, or anyone. He won't know who I am and I don't know if I really will feel good about seeing him in the hospital bed all tuby and week. Maybe that's selfish, or maybe that's the taking care of myself that everyone keeps talking about. I'll see how I feel tomorrow. My cousin's seemed to feel like I should come as soon as possible, but I think I might just end up a pile of mess on the floor of the hospital. My dad is going tomorrow, so I suppose I'll wait and see what he thinks. I just don't know if I should be feeling more guilty than I am.