shown and sold

I don't know what's happening. I've gone from feeling amazing about life to lying face down on the floor bed and staring all day because I didn't feel like I could move. I tried to fight it by doing little things like reading, and making dinner, and I suppose I accomplish a lot, but ever since last night I haven't been able to shake the tears in my throat or my general sense of sad exhaustion. I watched three useless hours of "Rock School" today because I didn't want to think.

I need to get back to being functional because I have a lot more to get through this week, and in the next few weeks. I can't afford to keep feeling like I can't do anything, or like I can't talk to anyone about falling again because I don't want people to go back to either patronizingly telling me I'm okay, or just avoiding the subject. I'm sure I'll get back, it just hit me so suddenly and with so much force that I wasn't prepared. It took me three hours to convince myself to leave my bedroom today. I just think this week is going to be a lot of forcing myself to do things because I should. I haven't felt like this in awhile, and I was hoping it would be limited to last night, but it carried over.

Why can't I feel proud of my accomplishments?