Sex with Bex 2.1

Welcome to Sex with Bex, back by popular demand... and also because I really enjoy doing this!

My name is Bex, I am a 4-and-a-half-th year Women's Studies and English major with a commitment to dispelling myths and opening up discussions around all things sexual. The aim of this column is to be a place for folks to send in anonymous questions of a sexy nature (anything about bodies, risks, terminology, technique, etc.) and I will do some sweet research and answer them to the best of my ability. If I come across any amazing books or websites I try to throw them in, and sometimes there will be a saucy game or two.

The only way for this to work is if people send me questions! This FROSH week take note of any sex related troubles that may crop up as this new school year begins and send your questions to bexualintercourse@gmail.com. You can change your names in the "options" section of most e-mail accounts so that the questions will be anonymous. I'm the kind of gal that likes to reassure, so I may be compelled to send a little thank you note, but if you would prefer me to not reply to the e-mail address, please include that at the end of your message.

I'm really looking forward to my second year of hot Sex... with Bex. Lube up, stay safe, and write me lots of questions!


Hey Bex,
Do DivaCups only work for women who have had sex before? I am kind of worried that it might be painful to use one if I am still a virgin, but I don't want to use products that are harmful to the environment.

Thanks
-Tampon Tired


Hey there Double T,

I looked it up on divacup.ca, and DivaCups can definitely be used by menstruating folks who still have their hymens (hymenators?... I like it). For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the DivaCup is an environmentally friendly menstrual product made from medical grade silicone. It is a reusable little cup that is inserted into the vagina (a little lower than a tampon) where it collects up menstrual fluids. The cup needs to be emptied 2-4 times a day and can be worn for up to 12 hours over night, which is more convenient than a tampon, and there's no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome. They are quiet and comfortable and very accepting of pet names like "Stanley" and they make a great conversation piece if you take them to "creative drinking glasses" themed parties (true story).

DivaCups come in two models, model 1 is for women under thirty who HAVE NEVER had childbirth or a C section, and model 2 is for women over thirty or who HAVE had childbirth or a C section. It sounds to me like you'd be looking at a model 1. Basically, since the hymen has high elasticity and often large openings, a DivaCup has no more or less chance of causing damage than a tampon. According to the DivaCup website they have customers as young as 11 and 12 year old girls.

I personally highly recommend the DivaCup. They are available on campus at the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity for $35 and you'll never have to buy another pad or tampon again. They definitely take some getting used to, so just give yourself time to relax and practice, and if you still don't like it the company will refund your money. Sweet service. If you have more questions about the DivaCup the website is www.divacup.ca and they have a toll free number 1-866-444-DIVA. Their international office is located in Kitchener, so you could always swing by with your queries! Yowza, can you tell I like DivaCups?



Hi Bex,

I just started dating this guy and the last few times we've been together we've been making out. It hasn't gone farther than that, and I'm not sure what to, because the making out is really bad. He's an okay kisser, but the problem is he is constantly focussed on my lips. Half an hour of full on mouth kissing starts to hurt! I like the guy, and would like to keep seeing him, so how do I fix this?

-Mangled Mouth

Well, it's early in the game and it sounds like you don't want to freak this guy out by being too direct, but a little honesty can sometimes be a good thing. I'm not saying that you should openly complain about how much your lips, tongue, and jaw hurt after you see him, but maybe find some gentle ways to suggest trying new ways and new places to kiss. I would suggest you taking the lead and maybe redirecting your own kisses to different areas like cheeks, neck, ears, etc. so that he gets the idea that there are other perfectly kissable regions very nearby your mouth. If that's too subtle try to muster up your courage and tell him all of the different places and ways you like to be kissed. It's important for you to be able to express what feels good to you no matter how new the relationship is. Playing teacher can be fun too. Maybe a good lesson in snogging will help him for the rest of his life. Good luck!


Dear Bex,

I'm new to the University of Guelph, and I'm wondering where I can get free condoms on campus. I know they must be out there, but I have no idea where and I'm a little embarrassed to go buy them myself. Where are there free condoms on campus?

-Safe but Thrifty

What a fine question! There are lots of places around campus where free condoms can be found and taken relatively anonymously. If you're living in residence all R.As and P.Fs should have free condoms available on your floor. In my residence there was a "candy and condom" bowl so that no one ever knew what you were reaching for. Delicious. Free condoms are also available at the Wellness Centre (located above Student Health Services). They have both lubed and non-lubed condoms. These are also available at the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity which has helpful diagrams on how to cut non-lubed condoms into dental dams. They also have non-latex gloves for safer sex.