will you miss me my dear... with my wild wild hair

I don't know where I am, but I'm certainly not here. I have been so detached today. I don't know. I get crying hangovers that seem to last forever. Didn't I tell you the blog would change drastically?

Today was day twenty of having no feeling in my legs. In commemoration of that I went to see a woman who does Reiki to do some energy work on my body in the hopes of bringing it back to normal. She basically said that I wasn't grounded, and that's why my legs fell asleep. She told me that if you don't ground yourself to let all the shit that falls on you travel into the ground, the shit just keeps piling up around you. I have stressed myself out to the point of nausea before, but never to the point of loosing sensation in my limbs. After my appointment I felt a slight improvement in my legs. Who knows. I'll keep doing anything at this point as long as I can get better.

It was one of those strange days where horrible realizations start hitting. You start to question everything in your life and wonder if you're falling into old patterns and old abuses. You start to not like yourself. The SAD is setting in, and I just don't have the energy to fight it right now.