can't find that place in the middle

I'm in one of those places where I really want to talk to someone, but I know that if I call I'll just be keeping someone up, or bringing someone down. And it's not fun. I find when I get like this I can't focus. I don't want to sleep, and I know I shouldn't stay awake. I'm all shaken up. I've made myself some mint tea in the hopes that it will warm me up and calm me down. I wrote two pages and then had to stop. I checked all the e-mails and all the blogs, and still I'm restless.

I need to fast forward to tomorrow morning. I need to drink tea on my porch under a blanket of grey clouds. I need that thirty seconds of being held before I plunge into the world of tacit social understanding that is the TTC. I feel like I'm floating out of my body and I just need ot be held down.

I just want to talk to someone.