Guardian of an Infinite Abyss

Well I need a good rainy scream and cry off the edge of a quarry. Good thing there's a quarry two minutes away from my house. After a blissful weekend of pretending my partner actually lives in the same city as me, I'm feeling a litte crumpled. Steve left this morning at 6:20am. It's amazing how little control I have over my emotions when I've just woken up. I said a terrible goodbye in the cold rainy dark that left my throat sore and my eyes stinging as I tried to get back to sleep.

Then today was a party of mall and procrastination. I made a lot of necklaces in preparation for my craft show next weekend. I'm pretty excited about being a vendor again. I really need to do some more production this week. Yes, making shit and about a million other things. I can already feel the stress building up in my stomach and I don't know what to do about it. The current plan is to see if I can wash it out with some mint tea.

I love how the depressed inclination to watch movies that make me sad seems to be such a good idea. Nope. It just hurts more. Ah well. There's beauty in the breakdown.