Pulse

Well this has been a hell of a weekend so far. Nothing like a visit from the Browns and a female spoken word artist to make you dry heave in a campus washroom. Maybe one day I'll be normal and throw up from drinking and not just because I'm apparently allergic to the combination of my friends and stress.

I'm currently playing the strategy game. I'm coming up with a plan. I'm definitely not good at being the helpless one. I hate being a burden on the people who love me. I don't like knowing that I'm transferring my sadness onto my friends. That sucks. I also hate being the boring friend that can't get over her own shit. So, that's it. I'm not talking about anything unless I'm asked.

On the upside I sliced my thumb on a thread of steel wool by accident tonight and bled all over the kitchen leading me to realize that mutilation is definitely not my thing. Goddamn. The pain and the blood just plain freak me out. Especially since I was alone. I think I need to get into the T-dot so I can love my bald-tummied alien dog a little bit and maybe even get in some Steve lovin'. I'm all about stress-free lovin' right now. NO MORE CRYING!

"but as bad as i am
i'm proud of the fact
that i'm worse than i seem"

-ani d