It's amazing how much time there is in a day when I don't spend two hours watching What Not to Wear

I have successfully completed my fourth staff 'O and I feel really good. I had a brief panic attack this afternoon, which kind of caught me off guard, but it passed quickly and I'm hoping that won't happen too often. I haven't had one since, maybe, April so it was odd. Other than that I'm feeling relatively in control. I'm taking a million vitamins and singing a lot of songs and breathing a lot of fresh air and I think it's all helping me to feel a little more sane. Also the time away from Shane is helping, as he seems to feel the need to go out of his way to make me feel like shit, even when I'm not any where near him. Not fair.

So I'm feeling good and I'm really excited to be medic. I have a grand decorating plan for the infirmary, or the med-shed, if you will. And the tinies will love it. This staff 'O has probably been the best one I've ever been to. I did a lot of writing and a lot of letter writing and a lot of hanging around. Last night I resisted my urge to be the observer and I participated in an indoor soccer game. It was so much fun! I got right the hell in there and I scored a goal! I played soccer until I was thirteen and I don't think I ever scored a goal! It was very exciting. I'm trying to push my boundaries and get to know some different groups and just embrace my senior staff status and just be a resource. I'm actually really enjoying it.

So yes, I'm well and I'm hoping that the trend continues once the kids get here.