bodies shit and desire

I'm going through some shit right now. I guess that's not news... it's just different shit. For the first time in awhile I've really felt the need for a community and voice and a creative expression. It's one of those moments when I may need to stop mocking support groups and go back to them for awhile. I just want a sex positive, queer positive, body positive support group to be in. Any leads?

I want to talk about sex, and bodies, and the stuff that comes out of them. I want to talk about pain and disgust and the feeling of not wanting to be touched and all of the guilt and anger and desire that swirls around it. And I want to talk about the fear of that pain, numbness, lack of control that lurks beneath the surface as soon as the sensation stops, or comes back... depending on what chronic box I fit into at the moment.

I want a space where I'm not the only one crying and bleeding and screaming for a nurse in a quarantined room. I don't want to have to explain what it was like while trying to avoid talking about shitting into a plastic bag, or shitting every five minutes, or shitting when I didn't want to. I got to know my own shit.

And I'm sure as much as you love me I should leave out the details.