chocolate is forbidden

i'm quite bitter at the moment. there's something very wrong with the fact that my body hasn't been functioning for three weeks now and i'm still putting off changing my diet and my life style in an attempt to do something about it. inspirational stories make me want to puke. all i want to do right now is tear down people's hope. this does not help anyone.

i read the ms diet book until it said chocolate was forbidden. then i got stuck on the fact that i didn't want to live in a world where chocolate was forbidden. maybe it's a self-esteem thing where i feel like i actually can't do this. maybe it's extreme laziness.

i don't want to change my diet, i don't want to take the injections, i don't want to sort out the paper work, and i don't want to be numb.

uncomfortably numb

i haven't written in awhile due to the fact that i'm in the midst of my first ms attack in 2 years. i'm numb from the neck down and my fingers aren't working s typing is difficult. i no longer subscribe to the rules of capitalization. this is what that sentence looks like if my hands are in the proper position:

i no longer xubsceribe xo gvfhj ruesw of wap0utaqoisastu9inws,

a little rough at the end there. i'll try to update more often.