More of a sporadic posting, then a countdown... but still adorable

Baby Smash!

no sleep for homer

TV on DVD is just so satisfying.

Halloween Haikus: an exercise in combatting boredom

Jess:

Black cats and ghosties
Witches, wizards, jack-o-lantern
Boo! I'm scared.

Bex:

Dress up your babies
Take pictures and trick or treat
YOU eat the candy

Jess:

Gimme the candy
it's right there in that bowl, now
Gimme the candy

Bex:

Transformative moon
Dark deep warmth from cold light
Werewolves are scary

Jess:

This costume is too big
I tripped on the hem
and swallowed my gum

Bex:

Don't buy pet costumes
It supports an industy
Based on the lonely

Jess:

The wind blows through me
nose running, fingers cold and numb but
I want that Oh Henry

Bex:

Enjoy your pumpkin
Jack-o-lanterns are magic
But they mould quickly

Jess:

I do not like it
When you sit on your porch and
scare the crap outta me

Bex:

I am in a mask
Give me those mini twizzlers
I have walked so far

Bex:

Go away grade nine
You're abusing the system
It's time to let go

Bex:

Lunchroom bargaining
Candy is like currency
Fill that pillowcase!

Jess:

Chips, Cheesies, Mars Bars
gum, nibs, dots, milky way
I love Halloween

Halloween Count Down Babycakes!

Here're your first baby in a hilarious costume as a lead up to all the candy spooky goodness!



Don't let that baby fall off the wall!

Sex with Bex 2.3

Welcome to the Queer Issue’s Sex with Bex! This issue deals with sexy procrastinating, IUDs, and hanky codes. Sounds like a thrilling evening to me.

Keep sending your questions in to bexualintercourse@gmail.com and watch for them in upcoming Peaks. Lube up and stay safe!

Dear Bex,

I enjoy sex, and I enjoy procrastinating… any suggestions?
Busy and Horny

I actually just discovered that www.sexualityandu.ca has some fun quiz game type challenges that you can learn from and waste a whole lot of time on. Durex.com also has a downloadable game called “Egg Invaders” where you have to protect your egg from invading sperm that are trying to fertilize! Also procrasturbation… masturbating instead of doing your work… might be something to try. Have fun with that!


Hi Bex,

I've been really concerned about the environmental impacts of traditional contraceptives like birth control pills and condoms. I understand that the female hormones in the Pill end up in our drinking water and lakes, and have caused problems in fish populations as a result. On the other hand, condoms are made of latex, whose manufacture and disposal are polluting to the environment. What other options are out there, and are they safe? I know condoms provide the only proper protection (other than abstinence) from the transmission of STD's, but are there other forms of birth control that effectively prevent pregnancy without causing such environmental problems? I was wondering what you knew about Intrauterine Devices (IUDs), how effective they are, what the medical community has to say about them, how widely used they are, and how they work exactly?

Thanks
-Harassed by Hormones


Hi Double H,

For the sake of this answer I’ll focus on the IUD, but all of my information is from the Feminist Women’s Health Centre website and they have a thorough rundown of birth control options. So, IUDs are small T shaped objects that are inserted by a doctor up through the cervix and into the uterus and small strings hang down from the IUD into the vagina (they shouldn’t be noticeable during sex). IUDs can last 1-10 years and they work by changing the lining of the uterus and fallopian tubes, which affects movements of egg and sperm. IUDs are 99.2-99.9% effective as birth control (but not at all effective for protecting against STIs).

There are two kinds of IUDs available and only one won’t harass you with hormones. If you’re trying to avoid the hormones, you would want to choose the on that has a tiny copper wire wrapped around the plastic body. The other one releases small amounts of synthetic progesterone hormone that was added to attempt to decrease the bleeding and cramping some women have with IUDs. Women with a history of breast cancer should not use the IUD with the hormone and women with diabetes should be monitored carefully if they use it.

Your doctor will have to talk to you about potential risks specific to you, but if you have any of the following serious health problems you shouldn’t use an IUD: recent or repeated pelvic infection, known or suspected pregnancy, severe cervicitis, salpingitis, malignant lesions in the genital tract, unexplained vaginal bleeding, HIV/AIDS, history of ectopic pregnancy, history of Toxic Shock Syndrome, or if you have a physical inability to check your IUD.

My experience has been that my doctor prefers to prescribe IUDs to women who are in monogamous relationships and who have had children and need birth control but would prefer not to be on the pill. Basically, the IUD is a very effective form of birth control, but it may not be right for everyone, in every situation. Hope that was helpful! (http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/iudinfo.htm)


Dear Bex,

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot people with bandanas and such in their back pockets. I thought it was just a fashion trend, but I over heard someone recently talking about “hanky codes”. I was wondering if these bandanas are actually some kind of a code and where I can go to find out more about it?

Bandana Baffled


Hey B&B,

Ah secret codes, they make us feel like super spies and they can teach us so much about a person. Yes, “hanky codes” or “flagging” involves putting different coloured bandanas, fabric, or objects in your back pockets in order to signal your interest in various sex related activities, fetishes, and preferences. These codes started out in queer scenes as a way to subtly to mark yourself as queer as well to signal your sexual interests. There are a whole bunch of different colours with a whole bunch of different meanings and which pocket you place the fabric in makes a difference too (left means you like to be a “top”, right means “bottom”). I visited www.the-px.com/flagging.htm to find some examples of codes. Some of them are a little problematic for me, but here are a few that you might enjoy watching out for on campus:

Light blue: wants head/likes to give head
Teal blue: cock and ball torturer/looking for the torture
Fuschia: spanker/likes to be spanked
Black and White Checkered: safe sex top/safe sex bottom
White with multicoloured polka dots: hosting an orgy/looking for an orgy
Orange: anything anytime/nothing now (just cruising)

If you’ve studied up on your hanky code and you’re interested in trying it out you might want to come to the GQE Kink event happening November 3 in Peter Clark Hall. The theme this year is the gay hanky code and there’s going to be a whole lot of flagging going on!

Bye Bye Birdie

Last night I was up until 4am. I imagine it was exam stress and presentation stress but of course I heaped on all kinds of of other neurotic panics. Oh well. I was sleepy this morning, logically but I had a lovely morning filled with a little Grey's, some breakfast, studying and a shower. It was raining when I left, but it felt kind of good. It was a Led Zepplin rain day. I listened to "That's the Way" a few times, followed by a little "Rain Song". It was satisfying.

When I got to the bus stop I had another dead bird encounter. I'm sure I've documented the dead birds that have been following me for the last two years or so, and it's been incredibly disturbing. This bird was very bizarre. I think it was a common Grackle (I looked it up), it was black and about the size of my hand. It was lying stiff with it's eyes closed and it's feet clasped around a six inch twig. It looked as though the twig snapped off and the bird just didn't let go. How could this have happened? Struck by lightening maybe?

I haven't had a dead bird encounter in months and I kind of thought it was over. Nope. I guess I need to keep working on it?

why can't every man and woman call themselves a feminist... out of respect. -ani d

Sometimes this feminism game... I just don't know. I sit there and I explain something totally reasonable and logical and everyone holds their breath and looks at me like I'm damned insane. And then I start questioning myself. How the damn hell does that make sense? All I'm trying to do is through some ideas out there, to make people think about things that may not be in front of them. This is how I'm an advocate for myself and others. I just trust too much that people are inherently striving to challenge themselves and question their privilege... though even as I'm writing it down I know that is ludicrously idealistic. Then when they respond with silence I panic. I feel like I'm wrong, or like maybe I'm not making sense, and that perhaps I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing. Today I had to fight the urge to get up and leave. Is this feeling, this constant struggle against logic going to last as long as I continue to identify and speak out as a feminist?

Simple Kind of Man

I feel great. Tomorrow I'm doing a presentation and writing a midterm. It's going to be okay. I'm going to hand in my paper on Thursday, because I can, and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. And when I'm done tomorrow, I'm going to have time to make dinner, play in tv land, and even write in my journal. I'm going to bake, make phone calls, and do some crafting. I may even do laundry and tidy up my room. For the first time in years I might even feel a sense of relief after a wave of deadlines. Imagine that! And then I have almost two weeks before anything else is due. That's good stuff.

Not so bad...

It's almost six and I have a detailed outline for the first essay question and a reasonable outline for the second question... but no thesis. I need a break. Three house solid is pretty good. Now I'll have some dinner and do a little work on my presentation, and then I'll get back to it. Also tea. Lots of tea.

And now for a glimpse of how useless my notes have been in studying for this exam:

Slow moving lecture
I only catch random quotes
Mostly the wang jokes


It appears that I
am a discursive construction
Really. How 'bout that.


If I do not read
I don't know what you're saying
Spell the names for me





Haikus are not useful study tools.

3pm

Okay, now I'm starting. God I love that movie!

Feminism=Being a Heinous Bitch

Watching 10 Things I Hate About You is like studying for a Shakespeare exam right?

700 Babycakes!

Okay, I'm gearing up to study for my Shakespeare midterm that's happening tomorrow. I keep thinking that maybe it won't happen, but clearly that's delusional. There are many things that I would rather be doing right now, like sleeping, eating, cleaning, watching the rest of the first season of Heroes, or frolicking out in the woods... but alas it is study time. I'm planning to make it more bearable by setting up on my back porch. Global warming makes studying more fun.

This weekend I did a shocking amount of school work and stayed up shockingly late. I have a midterm, a presentation, and a paper due tomorrow, so it's a good thing that I'm not starting it all right now. Yay me! Good thing I'm only taking three courses. I stayed over at Jess' last night and we went to bed at 11:30 and slept in until 10:30, so I shouldn't be as tired as I am. I'm hoping to shake it with some tea and a little lunch before I buckle down. I hate buckling when it's not pirate related.

Oh well, once I get passed tomorrow it will be all craft shows and Halloween parties for the next week. Oh yeah that's gonna be sweet.

Lazy Wednesday

I had myself a little shut down day today. I think I needed it. It was a productive shut down day at least. I woke up at noon, sent out information for the Centre craft show, send out the volunteer agenda for the Centre, and then did a whole lot of reading. I'm not quite done everything yet, but I'm a lot closer. I took a little nap from 5 to 6:30pm because I couldn't keep my eyes open, and now my head is feeling much clearer. I'm trying to learn not to feel guilty for taking care of myself. What good is a Wednesday without classes if you can't shut down from time to time?

Bellatrix LeStripes

The Coffee is Just Water Dressed In Brown

I'm so meltedly tired I can barely move right now. My presentation this morning was lovely and not worth the stress that kept me up until 3am last night. It turns out I facilitate meetings all the time, so leading an activity on Active Listening and then facilitating a discussion wasn't that much of a stretch for me. At the end of the class the prof said "I love Women's Studies!" which is a pretty wonderful reaction.

I wandered the Grad studies fair today and thought about my future. And then I ate a muffin. The muffin was decidedly more relaxing. So much research to do before making a decision.

Maybe Beauty and the Geek will teach me something?

polyp

Taking a break. I'm about halfway through my paper that's due tomorrow, which is pretty good since I've been working on it for about half an hour. It will be done soon. Then I will eat lunch and move on to preparing for my presentation tomorrow. It's a hilarious time of year.

I'm feeling very odd this morning. It's Goo gray, which is to be expected, but it seems to be effecting me today. I woke up with odd chest pains and a locked jaw. I'm pretty much in the mood to be curled up watching movies pretending to be a kitten, but now's just not the time. I'm hoping the chest pains past soon, because otherwise I think I'll be okay.

This is the kind of day for Earl Grey. So much Earl Grey. I think I need an awesome giant tea pot for Christmas. Oh yes, I'm already thinking Christmas.

6 weeks until I graduate.

reheating leftovers

It's very chilsy in my livingroom. I'm feeling sad and shaky and stressed, which is not good. I'm all alone, and yet people are home. I've dealt with three mild to troublesome crisis situations tonight, which I guess means I'm together enough to be helpful.

I had a lovely and gigglesome slumber party with Matt last night followed by an eggs-benny-drunk afternoon watching much Buffy and feeling silly. Very nice.

I'm watching Childstar at the moment instead of doing any work. I guess that's okay.

It's Damn Well Time.

After years of talking about it, Matt and I finally sucked it. Yes, sucked it.

Jump on in to our hilarious podcast and all it's goodness. Suck It!

Matt thought these were HILARIOUS!

As some of you know I have a tendency to double, triple, or quadruple sighs. It might be a result of stress, or forgetting to breathe, or my tricky lungs trying to be funny. Either way, here's the brilliance:

I'm a sighborg.
If I was a natural disaster I'd be a sighclone.
When I had to wear the eye patch people called me a sighclops.
If I were an evil villain I'd carry a big pointy sigh-th.


There was definitely one more, but I can't remember now.

Me tired. Me cry.

I'm having wacky side effects lately that involve pretty much constant yawning. Like every thirty seconds I have a jaw stretching yawn. My eyes are watering and I feel silly. I'm also very sleepy. So very sleepy. The extreme tiredness seems very illogical, and yet...

Jess, Tama and I are going on a voting field trip in half an hour, which is nice, and then I plan to watch Buffy for the rest of the afternoon. That's all I want to do. Buffy and nap.

Things are getting busy in school world, but I'm still managing. I'm very concerned about the future though, which is why Matt is coming to help plan my life this weekend. I hope it doesn't involve too much poking or demoralizing meanness because, like I said, I'm very tired.

Turkey for me, turkey for you, let's eat the turkey in my big brown shoe.

I'm home alone and I'm okay. I finished two projects that have been waiting since the summer and worked on someone's Christmas present. I also watched a whole lot of television... but I'm okay with that. I cleaned the bathroom a little bit and thought about laundry... but I haven't made it down there yet.

I'm generally feeling okay. I'm trying to spin lonely feelings into "isn't it nice to spend some time alone" feelings and it's kind of working. I bought myself some happy sunflowers and they make me feel magical. It's also kind of nice to guiltlessly take over the livingroom.

It's been quite a good weekend. Steve came on Friday and we had a wonderful night of hiking, skipping stones, making big splashes, making a delicious dinner, watching 8 mile, giggling, and snuggling. Saturday was Turkey Day in Breslau which was nice. We had 19 people there which was a lot! There's been an influx of engagements for the Wood family, and my cousin Carolyn and I both brought boyfriends for the first time. It was a good one.

I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight and get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow to do some reading and some essay writing. That seems reasonable.

It's FESI Time!

Feminist Self-Indulgence is the show that Jess and I recorded in my bedroom last week because we love each other and feel that the world should enjoy our hilarity. Reasonable? Maybe not, but we thought it was funny. Feel free to comment here and share the love!

Go get yourself some FESI!

Sex with Bex 2.2

In keeping with the theme of the animal rights issue I thought I’d start off this Sex with Bex talking about Limax maximus, or Leopard Slugs and their aerial mating. Boy howdy is it fancy! Leopard Slugs are giant spotted slugs that can be found in Canada, but they are not indigenous, they were brought over by the Europeans.

Leopard slugs have a combination of sex organs with names like “ovotestis” and “spermoviduct” but mating takes two, and both slugs end up laying eggs.

The two slugs start off engaging foreplay by wrapping around each other and having a long session of mutual licking. Then they dangling from about a metre of slime, which they anchor on tree bark.



Once their gooey chord is complete, the fun begins. The genitals of both slugs, which are thin, translucent and kind of blue, come out of the sides of their heads and dangle down.



The two organs entwine and combine to make a bulbous kind of strawberry sized structure where they combine sperm and egg type goo.





This whole process takes up to about two hours. These pictures are from here.


You can definitely see videos on Youtube. Have fun with that!

Keep sending me your questions or suggestions of what you’d like to see from Sex with Bex to bexualintercourse@gmail.com.




Dear Bex,

Every time I have hard kinky queer sex with my girlfriend I bleed. It’s not painful when we’re having sex, but I bleed for about a day after. Am I getting my period? What’s going on!

Lust Blood

Dear LB,

Sometimes vigorous sex can lead to tears in the sensitive skin inside the vagina, but it doesn’t seem like that should last until the day after sex. Maybe you should get your iron levels checked out?

Bleeding after sex can be caused by inflammations on the surface of the cervix (which is the entrance to the uterus up inside the vagina). These are called “cervical erosions”, which sound scary but don’t seem to be a big deal. These erosions are common in young women, pregnant women, and women on the pill. Bleeding can also be caused by small growths on the cervix called “polyps” which are almost always benign. Infections like Chlamydia and cystitis are also causes of post-sex bleeding. Any of these things need to be checked out by a doctor to make sure that you can treat them as soon as possible. (www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk)

If you check out and don’t have any of these possible causes of the bleeding, using some extra lube might help because tears in the vagina are easier to make if it’s dry. Good luck!





Bex,

What’s the deal with the morning after pill? I’ve never had to use one and I don’t really know how it works in Ontario or where to get one if I need it. Thanks!

-Justine Case

Morning After Pills are also called Emergency Contraceptive Pills and are available in Ontario without prescription, so you just have to go to your local drugstore and consult with a pharmacist. They cost around $40 and because they’re not prescription they aren’t covered under the UofG drug plan.

Emergency Contraceptive Pills are high-dose hormone pills that women can take up to three days (72 hours) after having unprotected, heterosexual, penis into vagina, sex. Unprotected sex means that no form of birth control was used, or that a condom broke or slipped off, etc. EC pills are most effective if they are taken sooner rather than later.

EC pills work depending on what point of your cycle you’re in. They can stop or delay the release of an egg, they can prevent an egg from being fertilized, or they can alter the lining of the uterus so that a fertilized egg cannot attach. EC pills will not terminate a pregnancy, and if you are already pregnant when you take the pill it will not harm your fetus. The EC pill will also not keep you from getting pregnant after you take it, so you need to use birth control immediately. Most common side effects are nausea and vomiting. Other side effects include tender breasts, bloating, headaches, and irregular bleeding. (Rexall Emergency Contraception pamphlet and conversation with the Shoppers Drug Mart Pharmacy)

Something significant I learned this week...

Did anyone else know that this is how brussel sprouts grow?



I always just imagined them growing as little tiny cabbages, but I suppose that would be very tedious. What a wild world we live in.

Blanched

Last weekend Steve and I walked all of Zone A and B of Nuit Blanche between 8pm and 4:30am. We were pretty unimpressed, which was extremely unfortunate because last year Nuit Blanche nourished my soul in a way that I was sooooooo craving. What was missing for me this year was the sense of community. I needed that one art piece to bring everyone together. Last year the fog walk was the piece that everyone got to experience. There was no line up, it was constantly in motion and it was simple.

This is what I wrote about the fog last year:

"The fog was my favourite. There was a point when Steve was the only person I could see. I appreciate those moments of sensory awareness when all of a sudden you can't see, and things seem quieter than they really are. There would be moments where you couldn't see anyone around you, and then you'd take two steps and there would be two guys smoking pot from a pipe or people trying to keep their feet out of the mud and complaining about the rain. It was just nice. I needed that foggy moment. And I needed that moment of watching Steve disappear in front of me and realizing that I just wanted him to stay and hold my hand so we could walk out of that fog together."

This year I just felt like they spent more money on the guide then on actually putting together a meaningful art experience. I felt innondated by people making comments like "I don't really care about art, I'm only here because the bars are open until 4 and the subway runs all night". The best art piece I saw was what I'm calling the Interactive Global Warming Sass Board... a giant screen and sound system where people were meant to text in the ways that they were going to combat global warming while two people read out the serious messages (and the crowd giggled at the funny ones). Some of the best included "I will tell Henry NO LONG SHOWERS", "I will wear my underwear twice", "I will build a giant mirror on the ice caps", "I will shower in groups of five or more", and "I will not put a giant tv on Queen street and let it run all night". I'm not sure that that was the intention, but I enjoyed it.

Steve and I walked all night and I was incredibly frustrated that some of the exhibits closed without warning after we went out of our way to get to them. I was particularly excited about the giant fabric vagina at the textile museum, but when we got there at midnight it was closed. You'd think they'd mention in the guide if participants in the all night arts festival weren't planning to participate all night. The worst was that Steve and I saved the Church Street red light district as out last stop and when we arrived there at around 4am there was NOTHING. There were red lights and fabric covering windows but there were no sillouettes and all of the store fronts were empty. If it's not going to go all night just tell me.

The most moving moment of the night for me was actually when Steve and I made our way on to the subway for free after visiting the unfortunately terrible Ghost Station and we had a car all to ourselves. It wasn't part of the festival at all, but sitting together alone on a subway car at 3:30am made me feel like we were stealing a moment.

I hope that Nuit Blanche can work it out for next year, because this was not worth the pain and exhaustion I felt when Steve and I got into bed Sunday morning. I really was hoping to see someone else's creation for some good, dark, soul-nourishing moment, but instead I had to stumble into my own. Maybe I need to do it myself more often.