On a fuzzier note...

Here are two pictures of the new tiny friend living with Steve. She is yet to be named, and adorable. Feel free to suggest names comment-wise.

Fear and Loathing in Box Vegas

I was with my best friend when she took her first birth control pill. We were fifteen. We sat on the edge of my bed the morning after a sleepover and I held her glass of orange juice while watching in awe as she punctured the thin foil with her long fingernail. She swallowed the tiny yellow pill with more juice than she needed. I looked at her as though waiting for something to change immediately. I asked her how she felt and she laughed a little at my concern, though I think she appreciated it.

Pills are a big deal to me. They are tiny and mysterious and yet so un-faery-like. When I hear "medical advancements" I get scared, I get skeptical, and occaisionally I'm illogical. I've been familiarized with the medical world over the last few years, and I still don't feel better when people talk about medication and how much it's going to help me. I don't like it. I don't like chemicals in my body, but I can't do this anymore.

Who's going to sit with me in awe when I take my first pill?

It's (still) all Happening...

I'm mildly attmepting to bond with my new roommate right now. I imagine the fact that I'm blogging while watching Heroes with him (a show that I don't particularly care about and have never seen before) means that I'm not doing a very good job. Oh well.

I'm disturbingly tired right now. In fact I'm going to bed early I've decided. I'm just feeling down and crappy and confused. I'm going to give up a little for tonight.

stick

Okay, 6:08pm. I've finished all of the required readings, I have vague outline of the paper, and I've read the first two acts of Henry IV. That's not so bad. I still have to sit down and write... and maybe finish off the play (but likely not). So sleepy! I'm going to have tea with dinner.

I took a break this afternoon to go for a walk in the woods. I grabbed myself a Mr. Eko-like club on the way in, just in case of attack. I didn't see anyone else while I was in there. I just watched the ducks and the squirrels and reconnected with some cedars. There were some couches set up in a little clearing, but it looked like more of a hangout then a home. Woods in Guelph aren't quite as menacing as woods in Toronto, but it still felt good to carry a weighty stick. The point of going for the walk was to dispel some of my anxious energy, not increase it with fear of predators.

I'm feeling a little invisible at the moment. It's funny how I can feel invisible and self-conscious at the same time. Would you think if no one was looking at me I wouldn't care what I looked like? Oh well.

EXbox is so quiet.

Gettin' Down to Business

It's 11:20am and I'm going to start school work. This means you should expect frequen blogs from me today. I don't think I've ever had an 800-1200 word assignment due in the second week of school. I'm solidly intimidated.

A few weeks ago Matt asked me how I was managing my mood. I said "poorly". Actually I'm trying to fight it quite hard and am constantly disturbed by how difficult it is. Emotions are so funny.

There were worms in my baguette.

First weekend back in Guelph. I almost didn't make it. I wouldn't have made it if Steve hadn't have come on Thursday night for an insane dinner, watching Garden State, and staying up until 3:30am playing "what song is this movie from". It was the kind of night that makes everything make sense. Then he had to leave.

So Friday I went over to Tama's and awkwardly ate hummus on the kitchen floor while waiting for Tama and Nomi to get home. Jess came over and we had an evening of Buffy and Sex and the City. In fact my entire weekend was made up of those two shows. I've only ever seen one Buffy episode in my life and I think over the last two days I watched 10 episodes of season 2. I finally know what the hell everyone was talking about in grade seven, or whatever.

Tama and I staved off each other's depression this weekend by drinking tea and buying yarn and generally not leaving the floor bed. Now I've left the floor bed and I'm sitting in the ominous silence of the EXbox living room feeling lonely and unmotivated. I have to say, I'm not sure of anything in my life right now, except for the fact that this is definitely my last semester. I love the details, but I can't do this undergrad business anymore.

Eleven more weeks. All I want to do is enjoy them.

Sex with Bex 2.1

Welcome to Sex with Bex, back by popular demand... and also because I really enjoy doing this!

My name is Bex, I am a 4-and-a-half-th year Women's Studies and English major with a commitment to dispelling myths and opening up discussions around all things sexual. The aim of this column is to be a place for folks to send in anonymous questions of a sexy nature (anything about bodies, risks, terminology, technique, etc.) and I will do some sweet research and answer them to the best of my ability. If I come across any amazing books or websites I try to throw them in, and sometimes there will be a saucy game or two.

The only way for this to work is if people send me questions! This FROSH week take note of any sex related troubles that may crop up as this new school year begins and send your questions to bexualintercourse@gmail.com. You can change your names in the "options" section of most e-mail accounts so that the questions will be anonymous. I'm the kind of gal that likes to reassure, so I may be compelled to send a little thank you note, but if you would prefer me to not reply to the e-mail address, please include that at the end of your message.

I'm really looking forward to my second year of hot Sex... with Bex. Lube up, stay safe, and write me lots of questions!


Hey Bex,
Do DivaCups only work for women who have had sex before? I am kind of worried that it might be painful to use one if I am still a virgin, but I don't want to use products that are harmful to the environment.

Thanks
-Tampon Tired


Hey there Double T,

I looked it up on divacup.ca, and DivaCups can definitely be used by menstruating folks who still have their hymens (hymenators?... I like it). For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the DivaCup is an environmentally friendly menstrual product made from medical grade silicone. It is a reusable little cup that is inserted into the vagina (a little lower than a tampon) where it collects up menstrual fluids. The cup needs to be emptied 2-4 times a day and can be worn for up to 12 hours over night, which is more convenient than a tampon, and there's no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome. They are quiet and comfortable and very accepting of pet names like "Stanley" and they make a great conversation piece if you take them to "creative drinking glasses" themed parties (true story).

DivaCups come in two models, model 1 is for women under thirty who HAVE NEVER had childbirth or a C section, and model 2 is for women over thirty or who HAVE had childbirth or a C section. It sounds to me like you'd be looking at a model 1. Basically, since the hymen has high elasticity and often large openings, a DivaCup has no more or less chance of causing damage than a tampon. According to the DivaCup website they have customers as young as 11 and 12 year old girls.

I personally highly recommend the DivaCup. They are available on campus at the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity for $35 and you'll never have to buy another pad or tampon again. They definitely take some getting used to, so just give yourself time to relax and practice, and if you still don't like it the company will refund your money. Sweet service. If you have more questions about the DivaCup the website is www.divacup.ca and they have a toll free number 1-866-444-DIVA. Their international office is located in Kitchener, so you could always swing by with your queries! Yowza, can you tell I like DivaCups?



Hi Bex,

I just started dating this guy and the last few times we've been together we've been making out. It hasn't gone farther than that, and I'm not sure what to, because the making out is really bad. He's an okay kisser, but the problem is he is constantly focussed on my lips. Half an hour of full on mouth kissing starts to hurt! I like the guy, and would like to keep seeing him, so how do I fix this?

-Mangled Mouth

Well, it's early in the game and it sounds like you don't want to freak this guy out by being too direct, but a little honesty can sometimes be a good thing. I'm not saying that you should openly complain about how much your lips, tongue, and jaw hurt after you see him, but maybe find some gentle ways to suggest trying new ways and new places to kiss. I would suggest you taking the lead and maybe redirecting your own kisses to different areas like cheeks, neck, ears, etc. so that he gets the idea that there are other perfectly kissable regions very nearby your mouth. If that's too subtle try to muster up your courage and tell him all of the different places and ways you like to be kissed. It's important for you to be able to express what feels good to you no matter how new the relationship is. Playing teacher can be fun too. Maybe a good lesson in snogging will help him for the rest of his life. Good luck!


Dear Bex,

I'm new to the University of Guelph, and I'm wondering where I can get free condoms on campus. I know they must be out there, but I have no idea where and I'm a little embarrassed to go buy them myself. Where are there free condoms on campus?

-Safe but Thrifty

What a fine question! There are lots of places around campus where free condoms can be found and taken relatively anonymously. If you're living in residence all R.As and P.Fs should have free condoms available on your floor. In my residence there was a "candy and condom" bowl so that no one ever knew what you were reaching for. Delicious. Free condoms are also available at the Wellness Centre (located above Student Health Services). They have both lubed and non-lubed condoms. These are also available at the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity which has helpful diagrams on how to cut non-lubed condoms into dental dams. They also have non-latex gloves for safer sex.