There's no "I" in Teamocil

Today has been excellent thus far. I finished my essay and am actually relieved! I had a quintessential student breakfast of Lucky Charms and cookies while watching Dawson's Creek with Jess. Man I loves that Creek. I forget until I watch it again and I end up getting all goose-bumpy from the love. The best part was that Buster from ARD had a walk on as a doctor! It was all very thrilling. The capper was singing "Love is something if you give it away" while we brushed our teeth and then heading to the bus stop way too early. It wasn't to early to get a good yell of "Yeah Bitches!" from a manly car-full of testosterone. I hate car yelling boys.

When I got to school I was greeted by my friend Julie with a "Hey beautiful hippy!" so it was counteracted fairly nicely.

Last night the box decided that the Goobie Brothers are our pick to win Amay-Ray. Man we love those goobie brothers. At first they were annoying, hence the name, but the love exploded last night in orgasmic cheering as they engaged in the greatest footrace of all time. Best Goobs ever.

Yogi has a girlfriend to, Cindy, Cindy

It's late and I am half way through my essay of making shit up about Canadian global privilege. Oh bullshit. I really think that professors should never be allowed to put the word "optional" in front of the word "essay", it's just to tempting. Right now I'm sitting at a tolerable 71%. Although higher would be nice, I'm really not putting the proper amount of effort into this optional beast simply because I'm not required to do it. I have nothing to lose in writing this thing (except for five hours of my life, as Tama reminded me)so I suppose I should just keep going. I'd much rather sleep though. Curse me for being an all-nighter kinda gal as opposed to a get-up-early-and-work-girl.

Tomorrow I have all the goodness of a visual brain scan followed by Box Model. It should be interesting.

And now if I could just get that damn Yogi Bear song our of my head I could get back to writing this essay!

Today has been excellent thus far. I finished my essay and am actually relieved! I had a quintessential student breakfast of Lucky Charms and cookies while watching Dawson's Creek with Jess. Man I loves that Creek. I forget until I watch it again and I end up getting all goose-bumpy from the love. The best part was that Buster from ARD had a walk on as a doctor! It was all very thrilling. The capper was singing "Love is something if you give it away" while we brushed our teeth and then heading to the bus stop way too early. It wasn't to early to get a good yell of "Yeah Bitches!" from a manly car-full of testosterone. I hate car yelling boys.

When I got to school I was greeted by my friend Julie with a "Hey beautiful hippy!" so it was counteracted fairly nicely.

Last night the box decided that the Goobie Brothers are our pick to win Amay-Ray. Man we love those goobie brothers. At first they were annoying, hence the name, but the love exploded last night in orgasmic cheering as they engaged in the greatest footrace of all time. Best Goobs ever.

Mrs. Vagina Face

Im currently at the Women's Resource Centre and I'm in the process of purchasing my first Diva cup, or as I prefer to call it, a crotch goblet. Vagina equipment can be frightening. I guess I'll start with alternative menstrual products and move on to huge amounts of sex toys. It's not the putting it in that I'm scared of, it's the taking it out!

The best part about all of this is that Diva is not just a girly name for a womb jelly jar, DIVA stands for Dependable Internal Vaginal Alternatives. And there's a return policy on this mother, so I can get my money back if I hate it. I'll report back on how this all goes.

Isn't it nice when someone challenges the social stigma around menstrual blood and it's product friends?

"My Barbie was very sexually active."

Long day. And it's only 4pm. Jess and I are decidedly skipping our women and cultural change class with the excuse that it's time to "run away from Bangarth!". My head is all hurty and bad. There were too many people in my dreams last night and I'm exhausted from all the visiting.

Tonight I'm doing my best to finish my PhiloFemme essay, watch Amazing Race, and get to bed at a decent hour. Though chances are I'll end up being up until 7am anyway. Are you bored of my school life yet?

What, no Purim Bunny?

Well it's Monday and I'm back in the Bullring avoiding my work. I have two weeks left of school and I still have five assignements to do. Then it's back home for the summer. And then I'm half way through University. And then I have to decide about India. And then I'll turn twenty and have to plan the next ten years of my life. So that will be fun.

Anyway, this weekend was good. I spent a lot of time with my Steve, which was excellent and satisfying, and I also saw a lot of family so that was good. I didn't get anywhere near the computer at home though, hence the lack of blogging.

Friday I was in St. Catharines for Easter which was all good. My favourite part about our Easter's is the full contact Easter egg hunt that we have every year on the front lawn. There's nothing like eleven 14 to 29 year olds tackling eachother and playing hardcore defense for the sake of tiny foil wrapped pieces of chocolate.

Saturday I went to the One of a Kind Craft Show and Signatures with Steve and his mom. I ended up with a pretty shirt and necklace, sore feet, and a lot of candy and chocolate dipped fruit.

Yesterday I played the double dinner game with Steve's family and my own. It all seemed to work out. At least I saw everyone.

I feel like this weekend went well despite my lack of work. It just made me happy to spend some time with Steve and not worry about anything. I'm hoping that when I move back home and get into the grove of working for the summer it will alleviate some of the pressure of who gets my time. I'm finding it hard to cope with the familial guilt. Oh well. One more month and we'll see what happens.

What, no Purim Bunny?

Well it's Monday and I'm back in the Bullring avoiding my work. I have two weeks left of school and I still have five assignements to do. Then it's back home for the summer. And then I'm half way through University. And then I have to decide about India. And then I'll turn twenty and have to plan the next ten years of my life. So that will be fun.

Anyway, this weekend was good. I spent a lot of time with my Steve, which was excellent and satisfying, and I also saw a lot of family so that was good. I didn't get anywhere near the computer at home though, hence the lack of blogging.

Friday I was in St. Catharines for Easter which was all good. My favourite part about our Easter's is the full contact Easter egg hunt that we have every year on the front lawn. There's nothing like eleven 14 to 29 year olds tackling eachother and playing hardcore defense for the sake of tiny foil wrapped pieces of chocolate.

Saturday I went to the One of a Kind Craft Show and Signatures with Steve and his mom. I ended up with a pretty shirt and necklace, sore feet, and a lot of candy and chocolate dipped fruit.

Yesterday I played the double dinner game with Steve's family and my own. It all seemed to work out. At least I saw everyone.

I feel like this weekend went well despite my lack of work. It just made me happy to spend some time with Steve and not worry about anything. I'm hoping that when I move back home and get into the grove of working for the summer it will alleviate some of the pressure of who gets my time. I'm finding it hard to cope with the familial guilt. Oh well. One more month and we'll see what happens.

I feel...

Last night I went to a peer counselling training session. It was sort of like re-certing your first aid. I knew everything that was being said, but as opposed to the Peer Helper training I did in Grade 10, I've now had some hardcore experience in crisis support.

My problem with crisis support is the distancing. Distancing yourself from the problem, and separating the person in crisis with their problems. It is really difficult for me not to empathize. I'm not bad at seperating myself in the moment, it's just that afterwards I cry. I can only be tough for so long.

Major Declarations

So far today I've declared my Women's Studies major and English minor, taken a nap, made a list of jobs to get done as the accessibility agent for the WRC, been to one class, walked to another cancelled class, and now I'm back in the WRC. Woot.

I'm feeling okay, but also sort of floopy. I'm excited to come home this weekend, but I'm also started to get stressed out about the amount of work I have to get done. I suppose I should just suck it up and do my work instead of blogging, but I don't wanna. Mlaahn.

Try to survive this gray day.

Crazy Good!

I don't have much time to blog as I'm heading to class in three minutes. But, I may not have another chance today. So let me say, last night was excellent. We had ourselves a dinner party. The food was great and the company was even better. Nothin' like a good discussion about christ. Then all six of us did strip-robics in our living room. There's something about the sound of six people all smacking their asses at once that just makes me happy inside!

I *Heart* Bex's Box

I'm back at the box and doing little to no work. There's nothing due this week and all I want to do is lie on the floor and watch tv. Tonight just to shake things up the ladies and I will be partaking in some Carmen Elektra strip-robics. We'll see how that goes. We're all sort of half-assed excited about it and we've been putting it off for a few hours now.

All I want is cookies and ice cream, but the self-esteem can't handle anymore pounds, so maybe I'll avoid it. Ahh I just put a large naked masturbating woman as Jess' msn display pic. It was hilarious. Okay, off to strip with the ladies.

Dali-erious!

Well it's not actually Dali, but sit down with your drug of choice and let this mofo wash over you. Have a nice trip.
I dedicate this blog to my Phantom.

My Hoo-Ha?

Today was a good one. I slept in, Matt woke me up with a phonecall that I immediately assumed was to yell at me, I got a ride in the smart car, and had a bagel. (And What a Bagel!)

I didn't get any actual work done tonight, but I did get to watch the end of Jurassic Park with Steve. (It was my first time seeing it ever. I'm not so good at following the crowd.) I'm really glad he came over. He's a good one.

So tomorrow morning I'm heading back to Goo-loph early. I'll be there for my nine thirty class tomorrow. Then I guess I'll go about my day as usual. Lots of reading and such. I might even try to be extra productive and get to the gym tomorrow. Now that would be impressive. I'm getting to that place of not wanting to read anymore at all. I just want to play, and watch movies, and go for walks. This week is just a lot of reading and catching up. I have one paper due Easter Monday, but right now I'm working on a portfolio to submit for the creative writing course I want to take, and I may need to figure out a monologue to audition for the Acting II class in the fall. Yikes. I don't know whether it's worth it or not. Any thoughts?

So yes, tomorrow will be filled with goodness and phonecalls to Steve. That's the plan anyway. I'm heading back to the land of Goo where the internet falters and the water is hard. But I do miss that box when I'm gone. I think I'll revel in it's boxy goodness for the rest of the semester.

Uncle Fucker!

I just posted, and then it fucked up and now it's gone. I'm not in a good mood.

I somehow got suckered into babysitting my brother tonight, which is fine, except that it fucked up my whole plan of seeing Phantom. I'm displeased. I've actually reacted to this whole snafu in a really childish way, but I guess that can be expected from all my lack of sleep lately+being in a longdistance relationship+being home for the first time in three weeks+tons of reading to catch up on+really liking that Steve guy. So I guess I just suck it up, drink some tea, and try not to cry.

So far tonight I've watched Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle, and South Park BLU. I actually really enjoyed Harold and Kumar. It offended me way less than Eurotrip. If it wasn't for the fact that every woman in the film was treated like a walking vagina I would have loved it. The whole thing made me want to write a movie about two girls getting high and having all kinds of adventures and treating men like walking dildos. A kind of female Jay and Bob. But that wouldn't really solve anything would it?

Black Bras are so Pretty

At the end of Spring Break I left my favourite bra in the laundry room at my house. It's the one that I'm wearing in that sidebar picture and I love it. So I called home and told my mother to put my bra in my bedroom so it wouldn't get lost. So last night I got home and went downstairs to look for it and it wasn't there. So I asked my mother. It turns out that despite my request, she picked up the bra, saw that it wasn't hers, and sent it off to goodwill. Damn.

Suck it! Three Times!

Sorry about the triple post last time, TJs computer has been all messed up lately so everytime I hit publish it goes to "Page Cannot Be Displayed" and then wouldn't let me look at the blog, so I had no idea whether it had posted at all. So yeah.

Anyway, I'm back in the t-dot where the buses run on time and the internet is functional, so there will be no troubles in the next couple of days.

Last night was excellent. We had ourselves a little St. Patrick's day party. We had a big bowl of lucky charms, a rainbow bits cake with green rainbow bits icing, green jello shooters, green salsa and chips, and green guacamole dorritos, and only green drinks allowed. It was a good one. About twenty five people showed up from a variety of circles of box friends and everyone seemed to have a good time. We wore a lot of green, and then did a lot of sleeping in which resulted in three of us missing three buses. But now I'm home and headin' for a night of movie watching with my Phantom, so I'm excited.

Does that feel cold?

I had a really great neurologist appointment today. It was kind of fun will all the reflexes and the eye following and the touching my nose with my eyes closed. Fun. The doctor was great two. He actually treated me with respect which so far hasn't happened with any of the members of the medical community. He chatted, he was impressed when I didn't freak out about the possible diagnosis, and him and the receptionist gave me a muffin before I left. It was just so nice to go into a doctors office and not be treated like a 19 year old without her mommy.

So in two weeks I'll be doing a brain scan and a month or two from now I'll be trapped in an MRI. Oh yeah. I might have Multiple Sclerosis. Yup.

Here's the tally of things that I have been tested for this school year:

Hypothyroidism
B12 deficiency
anemia
enlarged thyroid
lupus
arthritis
heart murmer
chiropractic troubles
Reiki session (I'm not grounded)
Neurological troubles
Rheumatoid troubles
and now Multiple Sclerosis

Yay! But whatever, I was treated very well this morning and I left in a really good mood. Then I had all the fun of picking up 200 condoms and some lube from the Wellness Centre at school and carried them across campus to the WRC. It was fun. The bag said "Sabrina do not touch" on it, which made me laugh more than it probably should have.

Clamp my Nipples Bitch!

Last night I ended up at a sex toy workshop let by a rep from Come As You Are. It was fun. I was really tired seeing as I stayed up until 7am again on Monday so it took me a little while to get into it, but I got a 10% discount card out of the deal, so that's good. Frankly I don't have enough sex toys. Tama and I keep talking about putting together a pleasure chest for our house it's just so damn expensive.

I knew pretty much everything they went through in the workshop except for some details about lube and stuff about harnesses. It was kind of exciting to be in a sex ed kind of atmosphere and not feel awkward at all. My initial reaction when I walked in was to get all shy and avoid participation, but after the woman introduced herself I had a moment of "wait, I finished being awkward about this when I was fourteen, stop being foolish!" So I relaxed and frankly got a little excited. I think it's definitely time for a shopping trip. Woot!

Grabbing the Bullring by the Horns

I'm at the bullring right now, and for once it's not packed so I jump on the old internet. This is in the hopes that later I won't be tempted in the library to do anything but research. This is going to be a rough day. I have a 2500 word paper on Midwifery due tomorrow. That's a lot of words. It wouldn't be so bad, except that I don't have the internet on my own computer anymore, so I can't desperately search for journal articles at midnight anymore. The roommies both need their computers tonight, so I'm out of luck.

I have to have ten sources for this paper, all Canadian and two have to be primary. I have eight right now, but I think two of them are close to useless. And I apparently have to reference each text I use more than once to prove that they were the best possible sources I could have imagined. Not so good.

This morning I woke up with "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" stuck in my head. I don't know what that means. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. I guess she'll die.

The Box is Moving to Fiji

We're all freaking out here at the box. But we're freaking out rather calmly. Tama is making a window clinger of a surly parrot, I'm blogging and compulsively checking my e-mail and Jess is wandering around looking for snacks. All of us have a lot to do, and yet we're quietly procrastinating.

We've all been spazzing out (which Jess just told me to spell "spaxming" out) but only for brief periods of time. We've had huge freak outs and choco ice cream eating, but now we're sitting around watching The Truman Show for the second time knowing we have far too much to do.I did accomplish something today though. I wrote my Philosophy of Feminism essay, made a window clinger vagina, and made some pretty decent roasted potatoes.

Oh man! I just found out Fred Durst has a sex tape out! It's about damn time there's a male celebrity sex tape out! Anyway...

All I want to do right now is yell "Mbatu O'Malley!" and "Get back Honky Cat!" Is that wierd?

My Fridge is Full of Junk food.

Wow, Tama's computer is doing some wierd internet-y stuff, so I'm hoping this works. Today was good! I slept in a lot, and then Tama and Jess and I went to Waterloo to see my dad's new show Tales From an Empty Fridge


It was so nice to see him and David perform this show that they have been working so hard on. It was sort of a flashback to childhood watching and then helping load out. That always made me so happy as a kid. While watching the show I go those excited tinglees you get when you know your watching something you want to be a part of. I've really been missing all things theatre this semester. I think I'm going to get back into it next year. It's gotten me excited too many times to just throw away.

Then instead of doing work tonight we then ordered pizza, watched some of Westside Story and all of Grease while we silkscreened t-shirts and made window clingers. I tried to use the button maker that steve got me for my birthday, but I think I broke it on the first try. I followed the instructions, but it didn't work the first two tries, so on the third I may have been a little too enthusiastic and now there are button pieces inside the machine. Bah, I'll figure it out even if I need to get one of those tiny skiny screwdrivers.

So I've done no work tonight, and that's okay. I'll get it done. Even if it does make me stay up late and freak out. I've been in the mood for crafting and creating. I'm going to get the paints out soon. I just have to hold back the urge until the essays are done. So soon.

Today as we were driving Jess remarked "I wish Matt would write about something other than Palpatine" to which I replied that from now until May I don't plan to have any idea what he's talking about. This is why Matt's blog title for today made me laugh my ass off. Yes.

When you're on a date, remember that God's watching you from the backseat.

Well I stayed up until 7am for a variety or reasons including Indian bees, botched sex-changes, MLA referencing, and music of the 60s and insomnia. It was very necessary. Then I woke up at 8am to call my doctor and ask some questions about my numb legs and the EMG I have schdeduled for next week). Then I went back to bed and then slept until 10:30 and headed off to class.

Despite the lack of sleep today was pretty good. As I stumbled through the process of getting dressed I reached into my drawer and pulled out my "Ain't No Damsel In Distress" Ani t-shirt that I have been searching for for months. (I've looked in that very drawer several times too!) Then we watched a movie in my first class, did nothing but discuss in my second class, and I managed to stay awake while listening to the lecture on compound eyes in my beekeeping lecture. After that I ventured to the library where I found four relevant books for my project due on Tuesday. Yay!

Tonight was spent crocheting, going to the mall, and watching The Notebook (all worthwhile for that wet rainy sex). I bought myself a really pretty faery tank top and then I ordered three more. This is going to be bad. The lady working there let me look through the catalogue, which was so dumb. I could easily spend two hundred dollars on adding more faery to my wardrobe.

So it's not quite two and I'm not sleepy yet. Tomorrow I'm heading to Waterloo with the gals to see my dad's show and then I'll be back to Goo-loph to write papers. Mmmmm papers.

Good Morning Morgantown!

Well I woke up at around quarter to twelve, which basically means that I will not be going to the library this morning. I'd much rather drink my tea and do the reading that should be done for this afternoon. I'm never short of reading to do, I'll tell you that.

I got a lot of little things done last night. I also wrote most of my annotated bibliography and collected a bunch of research for my bee keeping assignement. I'm getting there. A morning in the library wouldn't have hurt, but frankly I'm not too concerned. I don't know.

I'm going to be spending all day tomorrow looking up texts on midwifery to try to find a focus for my ten page paper due on Tuesday. Yeah. This weekend is going to be rough. So I guess if I can breathe this morning it's justifiable. And I'm in a decent mood because Phantom's site got Back in Black stuck in my head, which led me to sing it to Jess which is funny for everyone involved.

Maybe I should just get some sneakers

I spent two hours in the library looking up info on bees today. Then I found out that this assignement is worth 10% of my final mark. Yikes. So now I guess I just write it and hope that I'm amazing. I'll get on that after Gilmore Girls.

Tonight is one of those nights that if I don't get anything done it will all end up in a mass panic tomorrow when I realize I'm out of time. This is a stressful business. So I have to write two papers this weekend and official pick a major. What am I gonna do?

Let's do this by comments! Write and tell me English or Women's Studies? If you're feeling really excited about my future you can pick a minor for me! Sociology? Drama? Women's Studies? English? Philosophy? HELP!!!

Extra Extra! Scratchy Toilet Paper Bad for the Box!

Tonight we splurged and bought Charmin. We all screamed and giggled at the sheer brilliance of soft toilet paper. This is what March brings. I guess it's our present for ourselves on International Women's Day. Yay!

I have grand plans to get work done tonight after Amarace. I pretty much have to. We're having a fatty and excellent Parisienne type dinner while we watch. It's exciting. We're also going to be planning our St. Patrick's day party. Our major selling point to get people to come is that if they missed all the fun of seeing Jess puke pink on Valentine's day, they won't want to miss seeing her puke green on St. Paddy's day. Any takers?

Late Last Night, When We Were All In Bed (Bum bum bum)

So I had this brilliant plan of wakeup at nine this morning and going to the library to do a whole lot of research for my all together 14 pages of research papers due Friday and Tuesday. However, all of this was foiled by a robbery.

With visions of essays dancing in my head
At 1:30 I was nestled snug my bed
out in the lot there arose such a clatter.
I lept from my bed to see what was the matter.
I went to the window and peeked out bit
I heard the alarms and I thought "Holy shit!"
And then there he was, so anxious and snarly
I knew in a second it must be a burglary
All dressed in black from his head to his foot
He had stolen a computer (it was silver to boot)
He slipped and he dropped it
Then he ran really fast
He slid past the dumpsters
And made it at last
He ran into the valley before the cops could arrive
and left them all hoping they'd find him alive
And I heard him exclaim, as I reached for the phone
"Screw all you guys, I'm going home."


Well, it's all true except that last part. He said nothing. And the cops drove around the neighbourhood until 3am and kept me awake, so now I slept in and I'm doing my best to prioritize. Yikes.

Anything But Fisting!

Today was a strange and grey day. But the air smelled like melting snow, mud and cedar, so spring has to be on the way right? I'm starting to get attacked by everything. I'm having ideological troubles. I'll detail them later. Right now I'm just trying to decide the rest of my life. Good?

The Five Year Panic (like the seventh inning stretch, but there's no one to lead you)

I had a realization today... the whole idea of a midlife crisis is bullshit. The panic comes every five years. Think about it.

Five Years Old

You're just finishing senior kindergarten and you realize... next year you'll be in Grade 1. The big times. You're at school all day and there are just no more naps. It's a little scary. All of a sudden you're a big kid.

Ten Years Old

You hit the double digits. Being a teenager is frighteningly close. It doesn't apply to everyone I'm sure, but I hit the B cup by the time I was ten. (But I refused to wear a bra until my mom tricked me into buying one when I was eleven). You hit that odd phase of tween and the sex ed begins. Awkward.

Fifteen Years Old

You're in Grade ten. You're half way through high school and panicking because these don't seem to be the best years of your life. You've got your adult body (if you're me anyway) and your friends start having sex. Drugs come into play and you start to realize what peer pressure is. Fifteen is fuckin' scary.

Twenty Years Old

I'm on my way to twenty. I haven't hit it yet. But the panic over finishing second year University and still not knowing what I'm doing in life is starting to set in. It's a scary time.

From what I understand, by Twenty five I'll have finished school and I will be panicking about my career path, by thirty I'll be panicking about marriage and kids, by thirty five I'll be panicking that I'm almost forty and still don't know what I'm doing, and then by forty I'll hit the coveted midlife crisis. Yes?

So the moral is, that it really doesn't matter what I declare as my major, because five years from now, it'll just be time to panic again. If I can limit that panic to maybe just the three months surrounding my birth month that might make it easier to deal with.

Talkin' Loco and I like it

Today was quiet and leisurely. I stayed up until 4:40am last night and then got up around 2:30pm today. I haven't particularly been in the mood to do anything. I went online and searched a bunch of courses to see if I'll ever graduate. I'm scared of school, and I'm scared of India. I'm not in the mood to make any life altering decisions.

So Jess and I went for a walk in the woods, then I spent almost two hours doing dishes. Tonight I'm planning on getting some work done. I feel like I want to melt my brain a little afterwards though. So much reading too.

The blogs have been fairly boring lately, I know, but I feel like rambling outwardly lately. Sorry 'bout that.

We're Captives on the Carousel of Time

It's 12:30am and I'm watching the Simpsons. Tonight was good. We ate pizza, we talked sex, I did some graphic explanations and mime work of various positions and bendiness. You know... fun. We rented "I Heart Huckabees" tonight and I really enjoyed it! The convenience store across the street from our house is renting New Releases for $1.14 (including tax) so in the next two weeks it's likely that we'll be able to watch the store's entire film collection.

There is absolutely nothing going on this weekend. I'm pretty sure the big event is Jess' screening of the entire 6 hour Pride and Prejudice mini-series. I just want to sleep in. Maybe go to the gym. I really want to see Phantom, but that seems impossible this weekend.

I'm still feeling strange. I dunno. Leave me comments! I need some lovin'.

Poukelani the Gopher Hunter from the mind of Jess

Cast of Characters:

Poukelani, the troublemaker with fulsome breast who likes gophers.

Poukelani Four, the bravest gopher of them all

Miawenadae, the tall one who likes carrots and plants poison hemlocks around her sacred pond (which is actually a mud puddle)

Satchmo, the intelligent club who enjoyed tantric sex and beatnik poetry.

Leonard, the bow and arrow requesting permission from the Gods of Fire to marry Poukelani.

Bertram, the ten legged llama who had a knack for spoken word and enjoys the Beatles.

So I was looking at my thumbs...

I had a really odd day today. Everwhere I went had a bad vibe to it and it made me just shut down all social intentions. I'm feeling very non-commital.

But tonight was excellent. Jess and I watched a ridiculously satisfying episode of Gilmore Girls. It's been a while since the final sequence of a show has made me scream and cry and jump and laugh. It has just been so incredibly good lately. Simple pleasures I guess, but it's definitely one of the show that continues to impress me. But then again, sometimes the Creek still tears me up. I'm not ashamed.

I made some roast potatoes and fuggets tonight, listened to some Joni, talked about some serious issues, and some really not so serious and more dirty issues, and wrote a version of "When You're A Jet" called "When You're With Jess".

I'm trying not to freak out. I'm trying not to get bogged down. I'm trying to be myself. All I wanted today was Joni and I have no discman or cd player in my room to have a private listening. I need to go buy something, and since my computer is fried it seems dumb to buy any sort of mp3 player. Stupid Goo-loph has only Zellers to buy such electronics and I don't know how I feel about that.

Long Black Veil

My floating feeling is still present. It might end in a womb jelly smack down tomorrow, but meh, I'll try to be productive while I can.

I've activated the WRC on the Bell ad, and I'm gonna work on it all tomorrow. I like getting riled up about things. However, I'm eerily calm right now. It's already ten to twelve and I'm not feeling it. My heart is elsewhere. Who knows. Tomorrow I'm going to try to force myself back to the gym. I've been avoiding her. It's just too cold for working out.

Jess just told me to "Pump up the jam"... we're listening to Cello Suite Number six. Yeah, it's good to have all the box all back together. Tama is home safe and sound and sleepy and Jess is struggling here beside me trying not to poke herself in the eye with a sewing needle.

I feel like I need to put rocks in my shoes to keep myself from flying away.

Burdened Faery

I'm feeling a little unworldly today. Transcendant I suppose. I'm a little out of body, and yet I feel very responsible for everything around me. I'm trying to work on goal at a time. I'm also trying to fight the overwhelming urge to get on a bus and go back to Toronto. Last night I started worrying about the next two years. Every event in the upcoming future is terrifying me. I don't want to miss anything, but I also feel an insane pull to be home.

My shoulders are sore. I think it's from my wings growing last night.