My Guelphy friends,
Winter break is coming up which means that we will be bombarded with Christmas themed ads and folks pretending that “Holiday” doesn’t mean Christmas. Well, whatever. Whether you celebrate the sparkly consumer extravaganza or not you can take this inundation of Xmas images and turn it into a sexy party for you and your partner! How you ask? Well let me suggest some “holiday” themed role-playing ideas that will surely jingle your bells, frosty your snowman, and deck your halls with bows of lovin’. You still with me?
Why not try playing “angry customer and customer service clerk”? Perhaps you could use some SM play in this scenario as the customer tries to return a gift and the customer service clerk just won’t allow it. Use your imagination. Along these same lines you could play “mall employee and buy nothing day coordinator” and play out the sexy argument that could steam up into passionate lovemaking.
How about “mall Santa and Mom”? Do some sneaky lap sitting and try to be subtle about the pleasure you get from those red velvet pants while at the same time trying not to let the other shoppers (or your children) know that Santa is putting a present under your tree. Or into your Chanukah bush. Naughty and nice!
Try mixing it up and playing “menorah lighter and person with the matches”. You can’t light that Shamash without those matches! Better think of some sexy and persuasive ways to get them!
If those scenarios don’t work for you, why not wrap yourself up and have your partner unwrap you? Will they go slow and save the wrapping paper? Or will they rip and tear to get to the sweet goodness within?
If all else fails, all I have to say is chest, nuts, and open fire.
Have a wonderfully relaxing, safe, and sexually satisfying break everyone! Be safe, lube up, and keep sending me your questions!
-Bex
Hey Bex,
I'm considering buying a vibrator. Which one would you personally recommend and could you provide details?
-Vibrate my socks off
Oh boy this question might just cost me a lot of money. I think my vibrator wishlist just tripled! When buying a vibrator there are a lot of factors to consider in terms of what will make you happy. Are you looking for penetration, super vibration, waterproof, anal stimulation, battery operated, electric, sneaky and discreet (like one shaped like a rubber ducky), pocket sized, bumpy, smooth, penis shaped, cheap… so many factors! Luckily, there are all kinds of options out there to satisfy all kinds of needs.
Personally my favourite place to buy vibrators is the sex positive toy and bookstore Come As You Are in Toronto. The best part about CAYA is that they have examples of all of their available toys on the shelves so that you can test them out (not on your genitals, but in your hands) so you see what they feel like and how powerful their vibrations are. CAYA also renames all of their toys to move away from the oppressive and sometime pornographic names and packaging that can be attached to sex toys and make them seem a little scarier (or dirtier) to buy. CAYA has happy names like Pink Pixie, Pulsonic Orchid, Rock Chick, Quiver, and Splash. Sounds peachy!
If you can’t make it into the store check out their website www.comeasyouare.com where you can order toys, but you don’t get the benefit of checking them out before hand. There are tones of options, but each vibrator has a good description of how it works, the price, a rating of the intensity and the sound level, and little symbols to indicate if they are anal compatible (not all vibes are), harness compatible, waterproof, a staff pick, a best seller, made in Canada, and phthalate-free, so you can make a very informed decision.
The store Good for Her in Toronto is also a good place to go for some sex positive toy shopping and you can check them out at www.goodforher.com.
Good luck and I hope there are some fun shopping trips in your future!
Bex,
What is the best course of action when after some hot vaginal-penile sex, you both realize that the condom is still inside you?
-Hungry Vag
Hey there Hungry Vag,
First thing’s first, if you think you have a condom stuck inside of you don’t have sex until it is removed! That’s important. So, you should start by trying to squat to make reaching into your vagina a little easier. Use your middle and index finger to reach in as far as you can and try to get it out. Don’t insert anything else! If you still can’t get and you feel comfortable asking, get your partner to try because they might be able to get a better angle for searching and grabbing. If it still can’t be found you might just have to suck it up and go to a clinic or a health care provider. You need to get it out as soon as possible because it can definitely affect your health and cause infection.
To avoid this problem you should make sure that your partner pulls out (or you hop off) before he loses his erection, and when possible he should hold on to the edge of the condom when he’s pulling out. If it keeps happening maybe try switching condom brands? (http://www.mainefamilyplanning.org)
Dear Sex with Bex,
I haven't had sex in seventh months.
Why?
-Missin’ the Lovin’
MtL,
Well perhaps you should think back to the last time you had sex. Was it random? Was it break up sex? Was it with a friend? Were you in a relationship? Were you cheating? Did you choose to stop having sex?
Once you pinpoint the last time you had sex, start thinking about whether anything has changed since then in the ways that you are interacting with others. It is possible your last sexual experience was so mind-numbingly fantastic that your reputation as a love-machine has scared off all potential partners. Alternately the last time you had sex may have been so sad and traumatic that the fact that you haven’t changed out of your stained track pants for the last seven months is sending the message that you are trying to repel sexual advances. In either case, I would suggest that you make sure the messages you’re sending to others are clear in terms of your interest in having sex with them (or not). If you’re ready to be having sex again and find someone you’re interested in, change out of your sad pants and practice your seductive dance.
In the mean time check out the book “Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving” by Betty Dodson. It might be helpful in this in-between-time. Good luck with that!
