poh

Everything is very surreal right now. Like I can't see clearly. I'm not sure what's going on. I've been having lots of nightmares again which is really affecting my daily functioning. Today I could barely get words out. I feel a little numb and shut down, which might be good for cleaning and packing.

Yarks are In

Well the marks are in and I'm satisfied. My culmulative average for my entire University career is 79.753%. What the damn hell? I just want 80! So ridiculously unfair. Oh well.

I went last night for my bizarre summer job orientation. The mayor stopped by to chat us up and do a photo op, hilarious. I laughed a lot at the Employment Equity package they handed out because the first thing they say is that they don't discriminate based on gender, and then the first thing to fill out on the form is "Gender: Male __ Female__". Yeah. Why bother? I'm going to call them up and complain about the oppressiveness of the city. Gotta call and yell about something!

Aleph Bex

I'm doin' it too. Why? I have no exams left, and I can do what I want with no guilt!

A- AVAILABLE: Not really. I mean, I have time, but I'm tired. I really can't be emotionally available for you right now, and I don't really want to travel to see you... so if you're willing to come to me I'm available.

B - BIRTHDAY: July 28th and I like it.

C - CRUSHING: I haven't had a hard crush in like a year. I get a little gooey with some celebrities though. Most impressive crush lately was when Jess and I fell hard for the Lonely Island boys. It got to the point where we would be on the verge of tears watching their sketches because we loved them so much. Then we would inevitably break into "Baby it Hurts to Love You" by the Philosopher Kings. We wrote them a saucy letter, and when they didn't respond we had to take a break from seeing them.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Currently drinking mint tea. Last alcoholic drink was Naked Grape merlot.

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Tough call. I would have to say Jess and Steve are at the top. In terms of history and references, and our own Box kind of language, Jess is pretty easy to talk to. But Steve and I talk pretty good. I find myself pretty easy to talk to.

F - FAVOURITE BAND: Ani DiFranco. I would have loved to have seen her when she played with a full band. Otherwise I love a little Floyd and Zepplin.

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Bears if I'm entertaining, worms if I'm feeling nostalgic.

H - HOMETOWN: T-dot O o o

I - INSTRUMENT: Come over here baby and I'll play your instrument!

J - JUGGLE: I can juggle scarves like nobodies business (it was part of my clown act when I was running the birthday party circuit). My dad is a juggler and I generally feel like I'll never live up to him. He goes to the gym to practice!

K - KILLED SOMEONE: God no.

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: I actually don't know. Recently, to Eerie for an Ani concert.

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOUR: Chocolate. But I'll have a sip of your strawberry just to see what it would have been like.

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: One. He's awesome.

O - ONE WISH: For some clarity.

P- PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST: Steve.

Q- QUICKIE? You can try, but it never turns out that way.

R - REASON TO SMILE: Jenny ends up on a goddamned raft floating in the ocean on the finaly of the LWord. What the hell? I watched it two days ago and I'm still smiling.

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Colbert Report theme.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 12:07pm. Mmmmm sleeping in. I haven't seen morning in days.

U - UNDERWEAR: More expensive then I'd like, but I RARELY go without.

V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: I don't hate vegetables, but I DO hate frozen vegetable mix. Frozen corn I'll eat, but if there are peas, carrots or green beans involved, I'm not interested. Come to think of it I have been known to refer to peas as little green balls of feet, but I'll tolerate them if they're not the main feature.

W - WORST HABIT: Lately I've been peeling the skin off the bottom of my feet. It's bad. And it makes walking hurt. Yesterday Tama taped my feet up so that I couldn't touch them. It was effective.

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: X-rays, meh, I'm in the big time now! MRIs or bust!

Y - YOUR NUMBER OF FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK: 206 right now.

Z- ZODIAC SIGN: I'm a Leo, but I'm a little cuspy with Cancer. Sometimes I'm Leo-y, but I feel like Leos are supposed to have better self-esteem.

Blondie McDripple

I've got that Daemon dealy so that you can agree or disagree with what I wrote, which is odd and I feel taints the results... but Ocelot? I did not expect Ocelot. And Perius sounds a little like perineum. I don't know how I feel about that. Oh I just want to be in that world!

The Box is slowly dismantling. Our Jessie will be back in five days, which is wacky, and also the same day that the Box will be officially done. I spent all of yesterday rearranging my room and trying to organize my million tiny pieces of paper that have overwhelmed the whole place. I didn't really work on that today, though I really should have. Instead I sewed. I repaired my winter coat so I can put it away for the season, put a decorative (and artsy) patch on my new bag, and I'm halfway done patching the inseam of my jeans for the third time. I just don't want to give them up! Next I have to hem my new Value Village jeans, decorate my knapsack with new patches, and potentially patch some more destroyed pants. Damn these curvacious thighs! No pants are a match for my thigh friction! You WISH my thighs were rubbing you as much as they rub each other!

Did I mention that Nomi and Tama are pretty sure I'm losing my mind? It's actually starting to freak me out because usually they point it out in moments where I think I'm being particularly sane. Worrisome.

Ocelot Eh?

And Now It's Time For... Spam Poetry

Certainly.helpless noise And he week murder is not robbed?
True, school said Beauchamp;
tickle I saw it in act list the paper.
Yes, rain like a snow puzzled clap of thunder.
To ok remember the installation of worm
my inquisitive rival at M. Danglars'.Yes, I insist.
chalk horn
No; his shut curve servants are all devoted to him.
Because overtake I shall inquisitively equally secure my rejoice

4/4 exams, 2/2 papers, 1/1 MRIs

Oh thank God. I sent in my final paper at 9:30pm. Done done done! The MRI was a little ridiculous. The worst part being that it took 3 doctors, an IV nurse, and six stabs to get the radioactive goo into my veins for the last ten minutes of the whole deal. Not impressive. I cried when they jammed it into my hand. I'm just not mentally prepared for hand-jabbing. Either way it's done, and yeah, we'll see. I'm rockin' some sweet bruises though.

4/20 on Johnston Green (the best Guelph tradition ever)

Some photos of the way I celebrated my last day of school with about 1000 people and a sound system out on Johnston Green, aptly named for an event such as this.

closeclosecloseclose

Right now I'm playing with that delicate balance between the right amount of tea to stay awake, but not cause anxiety heart. So far I'm okay. I pretty much can't believe what I'm doing right now. It's not healthy, but funny. I've been fighting sleep all day. I managed to do some pretty decent studying for Friday though, now I just have to bust a move and get this paper done. Oh my. I can't even coherently blog, so writing an 'A' paper might be impossible. Maybe I don't need an 'A' paper? Yeah, I don't need it.

3/4 exams, 1/2 papers, 0/1 MRIs

I wrote the hell out of that lesbian exam! Well, it was okay, but I don't care because it's done. So far this week I've produced a zine, two grants, and 1400 words of a paper. That's okay right?

Sexual Assault Book

Anyone who has anything to say about sexual assault please answer some of the discussion questions here:

Saturday Nights Discussion Board

All answers are anonymous and some may be published in a book called Saturday Night: Untold Stories of Sexual Assault in Guelph that will be distributed to all first year students next fall. The questions are general so it doesn't matter if you're from Guelph or not and you may say something important that will teach a youngster a lesson!

Take a minute.

This is like Christmas Hard Candy

Man, I hate procrastinating by waiting until 1:20am to watch CSI and have it be the CSI that I procrastinated with earlier this week. That's ridiculous.

Beelzaboobs

It's times like this when repetitive chanting really comes in handy. Lately it's been "GOAT OAT SOAP" because of the oatmeal, goatmilk soap that the langs bought. It's fun. Try rearranging the words and see how it sounds!

And of course there's always the old classic "everything's good, everything's nice, intrauterine device!"

Your Time is Gonna Come

Yesterday the collective came over for a big 'ol 1950s themed meeting. There was snacking and serious decision making. Who doesn't like that? The end of the year is always such a strange time at the centre. There are so many positive ideas that come up and tons of ambition about how to make things better in the new year, but then everyone leaves. I'm hoping some of the goodness will carry over, but you never know. Things get lost so easily!

I'm apparently taking things slow today. I'm still feeling pretty positive about getting work done, but in a sleepy way. I'm going to try to stave it off one two three and go to bed at a reasonable hour so that tomorrow can be a brilliant and productive day. The internet must be sick of hearing about my daily life. I'm really not good at coming up with brilliant links. Well don't worry if you're bored now, because when school is done there is going to be a severe drop in the bloggage. SEVERE!

late last night when we were all in bed... bum bum bum

It's late again. Last night I stayed up until 6am. I like it, in a strange way. My need to be alone is conflicting with my fear to be alone and I guess resulting in a series of nights that alternate between me staying up all night in either a frightening or productive way. Tonight I finished the zine for the centre. That's a good thing.

Things are strange right now.

2/4 exams, 1/2 papers... seriously.

Last night... Seriously last night. My mind and body were seriously not interested in sleeping. I turned off my light at 4am and proceeded to lay in bed watching it get lighter until about 8:30am when I finally fell asleep. It was not good. It's kind of amazing what goes through your mind when you're lying awake for four hours the morning before an exam. That hasn't happened to me in quite awhile. I was composing letters, figuring out my finances, vitamins, teeth whitening, job descriptions, summer employment, photography, appointments to make, garbage trucks, Foucauldian criticism, and rapidly moving back and forth between violent self-hatred and plans for how to better my self-care this summer.

I finally fell asleep and got up again at 12:09 with enough time to read over my notes and have a little breakfast. I was, and continue to be jazzed and innundated Tama with all the fancy things I came up with all night. Ridiculous. Anyway, the exam was fine and I'm feeling... well still awake.

And right now...Oh God, I'm watching Video On Trial. That is some good shit. It sometime it doesn't go so well, but seriously that is a solid show. I have laughed outloud numerous times in the past twenty minutes. Seriously, I can't believe how funny it is. Seriously! Oh my God. It's just incredible.

So yeah, that's my running comentary of Video On Trial. Intelligent.

My Favourite Gift Today

Our newest best carebear friend gave the Box a fine book today entitled "What Happens When Women Pray". It's a used text published in 1975 with an inscription that reads:

Dear Jenny,

Thank you for all your time and concern. I've been really encouraged by the work you're doing for the Lord. It's the greatest thing to see you growing and struggling to stay right with God. I praise and thank God for you. I'll be praying for you, and your sister as well throughout the summer. I hope you have a good one.

God Bless
Love XO

Betty-Ann

P.S. Join me in struggling to put into practice the things in this book. Let's fight Satan together. Amen! Romans 8: 35-39


First of all, I'm going to sign all of my letters from now on "Let's fight Satan together" because that's the best thing I've heard in a while! Second, the title and table of contents of this book are hilarious when the word "pray" is substituted for the word "masturbate".

What Happens When Women Masturbate

Contents:

Introduction
Masturbation is the Answer
It Doesn't Take So Long
Masturbating in One Accord
The Method-- Six S's
How to Masturbate in God's Will
God Never Makes a Mistake
The Space Dimension of Masturbation-- Where We Masturbate
The Time Dimension of Masturbation-- When We Masturbate
The Vertical Dimension of Masturbation-- To Whom We Masturbate
The Horizontal Dimension of Masturbation-- Results
Forgiven as We Forgive
Telephone Masturbation Chains


Oh blasphemous procrastination. Is there anything better?

"I heard you got head." -Grisham

Somehow I've gotten so cocky about my exam tomorrow that it's midnight and I'm watching Beauty and the Geek and mocking the guy that's seriously a cross between Woody Allen and Bob Saget. So strange.

The exam tomorrow is a choice of seven questions out of ten and the answers have to be 3-5 sentences each. So I'm not so worried. It's also only worth 20% of my mark. So yes, I'll do some reading before bed and I'll be fine... I think.

All I want to do is eat snacks and get massages. Also, I keep thinking of more and more things that I should be doing for the Centre. There's some financial documentation that I realize I've ignored for too long and now have to go back and get a whole bunch of shit together. I have good intentions, but somehow I always manage to fall short of my own expectations.

Look at this guy! He goes to menno camp.

1/4 exams, 1/2 papers

I just woke up from some very toxic dreams feeling very toxic myself. I have to get my studying done for my exam tomorrow. It'll come. Right now my mind and muscles don't seem to want to hold me up.

Yeah, well I'll Led your Zeppelin!

Can't... hold... self... up... much... longer. Must... write... conclusion... of... at... least... 79... words. Totally... doable... and yet.

I'm going to have to factor in a nap tomorrow among all of my studying for my Wednesday exam. Hilarious! I say it everytime, but I have a secret love for exam times. It's going to be sad when I don't have to do this anymore.

1/4 exams, 0/2 papers

GENDER AND POLITICS IS OVER! It's just ridiculous how much a bad midterm mark can affect my entire semester. The exam felt good anyway, and I'm just happy that class is done, even with the excellent doodles it produced. I took an extra "disability" hour with the exam which is more time than I usually take but I found I needed more moments to breathe and stretch, so why not take them.

Post-exam I went grocery shopping and it made me very excited. I got mini-wheats! Oh yeah. I love exam week grocery shopping. Wednesday night is taco salad night at the Box this week if anyone's interested. Then I went to the gym and did some sweet legs and abs work. Oh yeah. When I got home I did some dishes, made some bok choy and tofu and then baked some banana bread. I love productive procrastination. It's 11:35pm and I haven't finished my paper. It will happen.

12:12

Nomi and I are writing an exam at 12:30, which is unpleasant. We're both mildly prepared, though I'm sure we'll be fine. The trouble is that it seems as though no one at the Box is able to be awake for more than one hour (even with showers and tea) without wanting desperately to go back to bed. I feel like we're a bunch of talking toys on a department store shelf. Someone comes by and pushes all of our buttons and for a short while we're singing and moving and entertaining the hell out of you, and then we jsut shut off. It might be the collective anxiety, or the lack of sleep, or a combination of the two. Either way it's very troublesome when there is a lot of material to get through in a very short amount of time. Dangerously short.

Anyway, I'm off to study some more and possibly have some lunch before I write. then I have to come home and start getting jazzed to write my paper that is due Tuesday, then prep for my Wednesday exam, then write my 12 pager that's due Monday, then a Wednesday exam, Thursday MRI, Friday exam, and I'm in the clear by April 20th at 3:30pm.

Whodunnit?

Why must there be a CSI marathon on the night before an exam?

THABTO

This weekend Steve and I watched the first few episodes of Ghostwriter, a favourite PBS show from our childhood. For those of you who aren't familiar, it's a literacy show about a group of kids who can see a ghost who takes letters nearby and spells out messages to the kids, because he can't hear them, they have to write back. They called him Ghostwriter, and in a brilliant moment the kids name themselves the "Ghostwriter Team!". Creative.

There's some fine features of the show, including awkward forced laughter, SamueL as Jamal's dad, and some sweet handshakes. Seeing it again now though, I can see why it's not so readily available on dvd or otherwise. Besides the fact that the slang and clothing are deliciously dated, it doesn't exactly jive with rules of internet safety. When you're at a computer ghostwriter can use all of the letters freely, so the kids ask ghostwriter all kinds of questions about who he is, and they in turn give him all kinds of info about who they are and where they are. That would not fly in today's internet predatorial world.

It was pretty awesome to see it again. I want more!

GO GO! GO GO! GHOSTWRITER! Word.

My Heart is Just a Muscle, and Simply Put, It's Sore.

I have an exam tomorrow. It's okay. I'm just poorly prepared and right now I'm so dizzy I can't focus my eyes. I'm hoping that my easter dinner of faux-chicken burgers will protein the dizzy right out of me. I had a fine anxiety attack on the Greyhound which I think the dizziness is part of. I had a large dose of Rescue Remedy and did my best not to cry.

How did I manage to get screwed out of Passover and Easter dinners this year? Somebody better make me a fancy-assed meal! I'm going to make some fine pasta instead and then spend the rest of the evening preparing my study notes, and then studying them.

I feel like I need some time alone.

Far From Heavenly

The paper is done. Now I just have to crank out a Critical Practices essay on Intertextuality, a 12 page paper about Anna May Wong and study and write four exams. Oh and find one more roommate. Then I can rest easy. But apparently I'm feeling better because for the last three weeks I couldn't physically make it past 1:30am, and now it's 4:16am and I'm having to convince myself to go to bed. It's actually a really comforting feeling. The fatigue was actually starting to freak me out.

Exsultate, Jubilate

I'm actually in the library now intending to finish my paper. I've never done this before. I stayed up last night until about 5:45am writing and then decided that it would be silly to stay up all night, so I slept until 9:15 and now I'm at school trying to pull myself together to finish this off. I have done the requisite half hour of procrastination and I guess it's time to settle down and write this mofo. I am unenthused.

That's not thunder, it's the Angel of Death Passing Over

I'm upstairs singing at my computer and feeling pretty damned good about it. I'm in a positive headspace about finishing this paper, even if I haven't opened it yet. I think it's fair to chill out for a minute after a solid 10 hour day at school. I may even pull an all nighter for kicks. I don't really know. I'm just going to maintain how I'm feeling right now.

As I write my family is having a seder without me, which is sad. I got a phone call from them at 9pm. They were just starting the meal portion of dinner. It's kind of lonely being out and away while Passover is happening. I really dislike missing holidays. It's just one of those important things for me, and missing the seder is just so against the point of Passover it feels silly. And then next year it will role around and it will come up that I missed it because of school and I'll feel strange. Bah.

I hope you all enjoyed your matzoh balls!

Kitty?

I am failing hard right now. I had a massively productive afternoon, followed by a massively destructive night. Tomorrow I'll be busy straight from 11:00 to 8pm, and then I'm bound to Pussy Cat Dolls... because I want to be. But it's okay. I'll go to sleep, and then I'll write the shit out of this paper. And that other paper. Oh shit I'm so fucked. I just have to get this one done. I'm two weeks beyond the deadline.

Well maybe I'll read an article tonight and then feel like I've done something? Unfortunately it won't be the article for my Women in China class because I gave up on that three submissions ago. That means I lost 1.5%. Hopefully I can manage that.

Okay I'll just keep breathing. That seems like the best option. I can't decide the line between sickness and procrastination. Ridiculous.

Bleeding is Awesome

Another post about names... because I want to. From the fantastic www.tampontification.com, some favourite menstruation euphamisms. No wonder young women are so freakin' confused about what's going on. You've got to use grown-up words before you can bust into the hilarity of some of these phrases. There are a whole lot of them but these are a few of my favourites:

Ridin' the Cotton Pony
A Visit from Cap'n Bloodsnatch
Communists have invaded the summer house
I'm on my period?
Uterine redecorating
messy mcbloodypants
Shark Week
Myrna Menstruation
Doin' the red rag polka
Bloop Bloop
Aunt Bloody Crotch
The bitch on the big red bike
my ovaries are showboating
My Uterus exploded
flaming biscuits
Fluxicus
ovary gnomes
the "i better not be infertile or this would be really cruel" week
Squishy-time

Wow. This made me miss Jess. Also made me sad about the Box officially falling apart. Hmm.

Nude Names

Lately the Box has been trying to come up with burlesque names. So far the top contenders for me are

Anna Lee Penetraded
Penny Trado
Busty Fuckenshire

I feel like I have forgotten a few, but I'll add more as I think of them. Any thoughts?

the purple of my dark circles really brings out the green in my eyes

It's mighty foggy in Goo at the moment, which makes it extra nice to be on the floorbed watching the Simpsons. I took a fine walk down to the river today which was lovely. It smells like spring and cedar down there which makes me happy. I'm still pretty exhausted and in a variety of pains, but I'm getting better?

The children's television party was awesome and ridiculously sugar filled. Boobah's were appreciate, Sesame Street was laughed at, and Barbie was oppressive. Good times were had by all.

I feel like there was something hilarious and relevant I was meant to blog... but I just can't remember.