Sex and music are often connected. Perhaps it's something to do with the rhythm, or the bass, or the fact that dancing inevitably leads to premarital sex. Music can set the mood, turn you on, or completely turn you off. Some music has sexual connotations, like everyone knows when a date plays Barry White or "Let's Get it On", they want your bod (and are also incredibly cliché… but maybe you'd find that endearing). Music can be used keep the beat to your "love making", for example I had a friend who loved going down on his partner to the music of MIA (I still can't listen to them without picturing it). You can also use music to drown out those yummy sounds or spanking sounds in an effort to protect your roommates from listening in and feeling sad that they're not having sex... or feeling distracted from schoolwork because they can't help but imagine what's going on. I myself have never made a sex playlist, but I think it could be the next big thing! I was recently at the home of some of my favourite people, and when I arrived they were sitting around swapping sex music and it was really exciting! Maybe this year for Valentine's Day everyone should make sex mix cds for their friends and lovahs. If you get really into it you could pull a High Fidelity and work out the perfect mix that starts with seduction, then foreplay, and then the perfect balance of hard/soft, fast/slow that will culminate in some wonderfully orgasmic track, and maybe add a little snuggle music at the end. This could revolutionize the whole idea of "our song".
I hope you're all out there saving up your questions for the next issue! Lube up, stay safe, and sing a little tune while you're pleasuring yourself!
-Bex
Dear Bex,
My 5 month old cat seems to always come in and stare at me when I'm masturbating… is this odd? Is this going to affect her development into a well-adjusted grown up cat in a negative way?
Loves the Pussy… cat
P-cat,
Surprisingly the internet was troublesome in finding answers about cat psychological effects of watching humans have sex or masturbating. The best I could find was nerve.com's Sex Advice From Cat People, where the general consensus was that it's fine for them to watch. It's more of an issue for you if they're trying to join in. Accidentally rolling on to a cat might not be so sexy. I would say if it's bothering you, lovingly lock your cat out of your masturbation location. Maybe when you're done she'll be so excited to see you that she'll want to snuggle up and you can enjoy some post-orgasmic relaxation. Alternately she might be angry and ignore you, but she'll get over it as soon as you feed her.
Dear Bex,
I recently heard of something called Nasophilia. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with noses? What's the deal?
Sniffles
Sniffles,
You are correct! Nasophilia is a fetish where people are sexually aroused by noses. Watching, performing, or experiencing the erotic sucking or touching of a nose brings about arousal that can be related to the shape or size of a nose, as well as the act of thought of penetrating nostrils. Nasophiles can also be aroused by the idea of the nose changing form Pinocchio style, or changing shape entirely into the nose of another animal ( Tonks, the metamorphmagus in "The Order of the Pheonix", must have made them flip!) or changing the nose into an entirely different object or body part. Surprisingly, to me at least, nasophiles tend to be against rhinoplasty because they fetishize the imperfections of noses. You'd think with the focus on transformation the idea of a nose changing would be appealing. Ah well! (wikipedia.org: Russ Kick. Everything You Know about Sex Is Wrong: The Disinformation Guide To The Extremes of Human Sexuality (and everything in between). 2005. The Disinformation Company. (Nasophilia p.125).
Dear Bex,
My partner really likes to play Death Metal when we're having sex and I'm not really into it. This is a fairly new relationship and I don't want to cause any frivolous fights, but it's hard to get off when I just want to get out! What should I do?
Metal Dead
M.D.,
This is something you're going to want to bring up, especially since it's a new relationship and you're in the process of establishing trust and communication (I hope). If the music that's on during sex is totally turning you off, your partner may already have the sense that something's wrong and might not realize that the music is the problem, which could cause a whole load of insecurities. If you feel comfortable you could bring it up directly and let you're partner know that while you may be okay with Death Metal at other times, it doesn't exactly make you feel sexy. Then you can suggest some other kind of music for sex. You could go the compromise root and maybe suggest downgrading from Death Metal to Metal ballads (a la Black Sabbath's "Changes"), or you could jump on the aforementioned bandwagon and make yourselves a sex mix cd and rock out with your respective genitals… out.
