Damn you Macelod!

I'm back and I'm a drippy, snotty, sore, crying, mess. I blame Macelod. Then I pump myself full of drugs. I feel awful and useless and used. My brain is shutting down.

Can you paraphrase if for us?

All is well in B.C. Jess and I got back yesterday from our adventure in Victoria. Outside of our tunning conversations we've had a very kid friendly trip in terms of activities. In Victoria we went to the museum, walked along the Wharf, went to a petting zoo in Beacon Hill park, and then sat on the beach for awhile where we both got sunburns. Mine is particularly hilarious as it outlines my necklace on my chest. Foolish. We have two more days here and have various thoughts on what to do. Today we slept in until noon though which kind of screwed up the itinerary. Ah well.

I'm doing generally well. I've had a few self-analytical mental health moments that have given me some insight regarding why I carry around the shit that I do. Events of five years ago seem to be far to readily with me at the moment and I think a lot of that has to do with the experince of abuse I had a few weeks ago. To many call backs. I was thinking of doing a little bexpose (I don't know how to put the accent in) here, but I don't know if people can handle that. It's just that I've come to this realization that a lot of my self-image troubles have a lot to do with one particular event that occured in, what I'll call, my sexually formative years. I might need to write it and put it out there just for me. Anyway, I'm well but still a little sad and a little afraid of what to do next. I'll be home Monday though so I guess we'll see.

B.C. forests could house Dinosaurs. It ain't no quaint faery lovin' Ontario forest.

After going to a crazy queer dance party tonight I decided that the tagline for next year's Springle should be "Less Class, More Crass". There were rainbows everywhere and a big screen showing hardcore porn involving various anal and dildo extravaganzas. That's what we need. Also the playing of "Shoop". I don't think I've ever danced in public to Shoop and boy was it satisfying.

Other highlights of today involved sea otters, whales, anemones, totem polls, and a lengthy conversation about how girls have a distinctive dance that they do in order to expel crotch bubbles, and boys have a distinctive dance that they do in order to unstick their balls from their legs.

Put your bets down! Ladies and Gentlemen put your bets down!

All right everyone, I am officially taking bets regarding the Mark-T.J. Vegas trip.

The options:

1. Who thinks they're going to get married?
2. Who thinks they're going to get married and just not tell anyone? (if in five years we still don't know the money will be returned)
3. Who thinks I'm insane to think this is a possibility?

I'm serious place your bets in the comments section. Jess and I think that number two is a distinct possibility. They leave Monday, so place your bets now! :P

Naked Tai Chi

I'm currently blogging from an SFU computer. It won't let me sign on to webmail at the moment, so this is what the world gets for now. Personal e-mails will possibly follow later tonight. So yes, Macelod and I are in BC. All is well and green and flowery and smells like the rainforest pavillion at the zoo. We're staying with our friend Leah who lives in a beautiful neighbourhood by the water and has a backyard that has a bit of a Spiral Garden flair to it. It's familiar and good.

Jess and I arrived yesterday morning at 10:30 and spent the day mostly hanging around Leah's house. Our flight was good, but we were exhausted. We watched a terrible movie, and then napped through the terrible sitcoms. We were fed some potato egg boats (that may not have contained any actual potato) and resulted in my very upset stomach. Last night we had dinner with Leah's family and then went out for drinks and a little Guelph reunion with our friend's Scott and Galya. Galya's sister's also came along. I think we're seeing them all again tonight at a big Queer dance party. GAY!

So yes, Leah works at the Women's Centre at SFU so we got up and came to work with her today. This Women's Centre is paradise compared to the WRC. It has a full kitchen, a lounge area, and actual book stacks. I'm a jealous lady. Jess and I are planning to get some free things from their clubs days and then head accross town to Stanley Park. Tomorrow we're going to Victoria and staying there until Friday. We're going to do ridiculous touristy things, and also watch Box Model.

I'm feeling okay. The angry goo in my brain rises once in a while. Jess and I decided that what I really need is a pensieve. If anyone is planning really early for my birthday, that's what I want. Yes? I may try and blog again later on in the week, but we're here, and we're good and it's all very pretty.

where is my mind?

This morning I woke up, had a smoothie and read a book. It was a Holocaust book geared towards kids, like the ones I was obsessed with when I was ten. It was just about the perfect thing for a jobless lady like myself to engage in today. The rain and the text made me feel a little morbid and melancholy and sometimes I need to live in that place where all I can think of is black and white images of disembodied limbs floating in tubs of liquid and skin stretched thinly accross a skull. It's somewhere in my body that every once in a while I have to stop and be absorbed by these things. Like when we ate nothing but thin soup for three days on the cleanse and I knew I wouldn't be able to make if through a death march.

Not necessarily in that order...

I haven't blogged lately because I'm in Toronto, and that's what the T-dot does apparently. I'm not in particularly good shape at the moment (emotionally, mentally, and physically) which also factors in to the lack of postings.

In the past week I got drunk, I saw my best friend, I saw her dad, I read a comic book about blow jobs, I was sexually harassed (borderlining on cop calling territory with the touching and the fear and all), I saw Hair again, I hung out with TJ, I hung out with Macelod, I hugged a vegan (twice), I got high, I read a relatively trashy book, I watched Beavis and Butthead Do America, I had a Mojito...Mojito, I was sexually explorative, I cried, I sang on the subway, I bought overpriced bus tickets, I turned down a job, I had nightmares, I snuggled, I showered (more than twice), and I watched some TV.

Could one bite the ears off of a chocolate Moses?

I just had a strange experience. When I was little, my Zaida used to buy me white chocolate easter bunnies and he would always bite the ears off before he gave them to me and make a mystery out of where the ears had gone. Well, when I was home last weekend I grabbed the white chocolate bunny that my parents had bought me. I had forgotten to grab after passover weekend and thought that perhaps the Box would help me eat it. Before I threw it in my bag I checked to see if the ears were gone. But the bunny ears were intact, and I happy, because it wasn't the parent's job to bite the ears off, that was my Zaida's thing. I just emptied out my knapsack so that I could pack up the books that I want to bring home and when I took out the bunny, the ears were gone. It was odd. And comforting.

I'm going to miss M'ladies.

A Taste For Metal

We had a little scare last night as Clyde, a fine cat indeed, swallowed some thread with a sewing needle on the end. He was taken to the vet an luckily the needle as the rounded side pointing towards his anus and it is already embedded in some poo. Good one Clyde's insides. We've been told that now that he's swallowed one metal object he's developed a taste for it, so now we have to be aware of all or the metal bits around our house. He's like a magnet cat... and magcat?

This is presumably my last day in the Goo and we're all sitting around watching incredibly bad television. I have to do a little laundry and a little gardening, and if I'm lucky a little showering. I should be back in the T-dot by tonight, which is fun. This time of year is so overwhelming.

Best quote of the day so far:

"I think her sister's a gay man" - Jack

Combining Words=Gay (Good Day)

Last night Jess and I fought insanity with a raring round of Strip-robics, tonight we fought it with Pomtinis. Things that are the results of comibined words make life better. Tomorrow is/should be my last day in Guelph. I have a whole lot of laundry to do and then a bit of packing to finalize. I'm trying to lighten my anxiety/depression/eating disorder with a little reading of the diary of a London call-girl. It's excellent. I have to get to booking appointments right away when I get home because I'm sinking fast. I'm trying to combat my feeling all fat-like by making clothing purchases that make me look hot... at least from the breasts up. Jess has a theory that my cleavage is so mesmerizing that there's no reason for anyone to look at the rest of my body. I'm going to try to keep that in mind. All I want to do is buy things and my money is dwindling. Don't make me go back to the screaming children! I'm already exhausted!