Beckanero

I'm so glad Lost was heart warming. My heard needed some warming tonight. My heart was also warmed by the fact that my prof is allowing me to write my midterm another time, so I feel much better. Today I sat staring blearily at my notes today and worried about how I was actually going to write this thing and not do terribly. I'm just going to sleep in and take care of myself tomorrow. It's this new thing I'm trying where I'm trying to be nice to myself and take help when I need it, and despite the opinion of the medical community... I need it right now.

I'm trying to embrace my piratitude at the moment, this being day two of wearing the eye patch. Yesterday I got a Boo-Ju (Booster Juice) and left without paying, then let out a mighty "Yarr!". I am a pirate. Ye be warned.

I'm starting to think that perhaps I've just lost my mind. The eye doctor today told me I don't need glasses, I have no eye disease, and my eye seems to be functioning entirely normally. But shouldn't the consideration that I'm just insane negate the manifestation of my psychosis? Nomi says I have to really BELIEVE it. I'll work on that. Oh well, I've got some sweet blood work on Friday (hopefully) and then a follow-up at the hospital. I don't know what else to do, so I'll just keep downloading books on tape and colouring cunts to stay awake while I listen to them.

The facilitator at my group dealy told me last night that I need to do more public happy dances to celebrate small things that I do that are actually more impressive than I give myself credit for. I'm a little worried about coming across as a big leo ham, but perhaps I need to embrace that a little bit more right now.

Yarr. I'm awesome. Savvy?

In Loving Memory...

Rest in Peace Mr. Gary Sparkles. You were a fine mouse and will be missed by your humans and your sister Francois de Pamplemouse.



(She's the one with the white spots).

Scurvy Dog

Man I hate new blogger. I don't like change.

I'm starting to understand why some pirates are so grumpy. Seriously, eye patches are hilarious, but not so comfortable for 5 hours of work trying to get events for IWD in order or really for writing of any kind. They make you feel like you're not really here. It's like that development stage where kids think that if they can't see you, you can't see them. Maybe I'm digressing because I don't know what moving forward looks like. (Oh looking, how I miss you). I'm just not a backwards planner. I'm an overwhelmed person with many skills but no passion. And I'm tired and partially blind.

I made lots of appointments today which is good and i'm going to try to have some dinner and do a bit of reading for tomorrow. My stomach is in terrible pain and I just want to watch my tape of missed tv shows from last week. So I think that's my main focus tonight. There are lots of people willing to be helpful about my vision, which is great. Just a lot of energy to get it all together.

I seriously think I might ride this pirate feeling. You can't really see me anyway, so I might as well not shower and take what I want and growl at everyone around me. Hmmm, maybe it's syphillis.

Represent represent!

Well, I'm back from Cuba and slightly tanned. It was an excellent trip and I'm glad I went. There were flamingos, lizards, rats falling from trees, dolphins, iguanas, coral, starfish, tropical fish, and Cubans. We wrote ourselves a sweet song in Spanish about Pirate Sharks, which are the best kind. I'll post some pictures soon.

The craziest thing that happened was that I woke up on Saturday morning with a sudden loss of vision in my left eye and it hasn't come back yet. Why do I only have medical problems that sound made up? Am I making them up? How will I ever know? Is this all just a glitch in Matrix? Anyway, I got back to Steve's at 4am Friday morning, slept, and then spent all of Friday afternoon in the Sunnybrook Emergency room, then all of Saturday morning at the Sunnybrooke Emergency Opthamologist's. The guy that I saw was totally phoning it in on his last day and told me I must have just noticed that my eye was messed up, which is bull, and wouldn't accept the fact that his mock glasses didn't make my eyesight clear. It was awful. So yeah, know I don't know how I'm going to get through all of my reading with one eye closed. I'm not impressed.

I told Matt earlier that I may have to declare March "dress like a pirate month" because I'm going to buy myself an eyepatch tomorrow. In honour of this he made the following South Park randition of me:



It's pretty accurate.

I'm trying to keep my anxiety together but I've spent most of the last two days crying. The incompetant doctor didn't seem to think that my optic nerve has anything to do with this weirdness, but I'm a little concerned that this is going to re-open my MS testing. I don't want that! Anyway, I'm doing my best to keep myself together and not freak out about everything I need to do to survive the rest of this semester. Why didn't anyone remind me that IWD is next week?

Suckit!

Enjoy the snow suckahs. I'm goin' to Cuba.

Sex with Bex #5

The theme for this issue was drugs... hence the preamble. And I just got an angry letter about one of these responses... can you guess which one?


Sex and drugs tend to get combined in terms of aphrodisiacs, lowering inhibitions, enhancing pleasure, and really it’s what all the “bad” kids are doing! The trouble with getting high and then having sex is that people are more likely to forgo taking steps towards safer sex making the whole sex and drugs combo a little more risky and questionable in terms of STIs and pregnancy. If you’re planning for a wild night… or, I suppose, a relaxed night of sex and drugs make sure to have condoms or dental dams (or both) handy. They should be as essential as that water bottle next to your bed that you plan to chug before you go to sleep.

Bex, Drugs and Rock and Roll!


Hi Bex,

I’m a man and my girlfriend has a big problem with oral sex. She's immediately grossed out if one of my pubes touches her face and as a result, I RARELY ever get head. I've tried tweezing but it fucking hurts, bikini wax strips had the same result, and trimming or snipping will just make the pubes pointy and painful for sex for her. What's the best way to help her be more comfortable with oral sex, and what's the best way for me to get rid of pubic hair?

Pokey Pete


Hey there Pokey,

If tweezing and waxing doesn’t make you happy I would say don’t do it! Definitely take steps to help your girlfriend be more comfortable, but they’re your pubes, and if you like having them around then that’s something your girlfriend will have to respect. With that in mind, I think that doing a little trimming might be helpful for her just in case your pubic hair is a little overwhelming. Keep in mind trimming doesn’t have to be down to stubble sized, you can keep it long enough that it won’t become short and stabby and thus problematic when things get penetrative. One thing I would suggest would be to see if your girlfriend feels comfortable gripping the base of your penis with one of her hands while giving you oral sex. That way her hand can act as a pubic hair barricade (hairicade?), and she won’t have to worry about your hair touching her face while she does her oral thing. This is often a suggested oral sex technique for people who don’t feel comfortable or take in as much as they would like during oral sex, so it will still work in terms of pleasure for you because the hand around the base of your penis gives the sensation of a more all-around wang-to-mouth experience.


Dear Bexual Intercourse,

I am planning a weekend getaway all by myself and I have to admit, I'm thinking of getting a couple of one night stands in. I will be in another province and can pretend to be anything I want. Whaddaya think? Is a little consensual sex with no follow-up whatsoever totally immoral?

Sincerely,

Jimmy Bond


Hi James,

I don’t think there’s anything particularly immoral about having consensual sex type one night stands as long as you’re not misleading about what your intentions are, and people are sober enough to make that choice. I think there’s a lot of potential for someone getting hurt in a one-night-stand situation, but as long as everyone is comfortable and knows what their consenting to, I can’t see any trouble. You should be careful about the “pretending to be anything you want” part because a slip up in your secret identity could be hugely problematic in a situation where sex can become intimate and vulnerable for people, even in a one night stand situation. I think being upfront with your intentions is kind of linked to being respectful to your various sex partners, but if you feel you can do that while at the same time maintaining your alter-ego style identity, I say do what works. Beyond the consent part, just make sure you’re safe about all of it. Use safer sex supplies like condoms and dental dams, and make sure you tell people if you have any communicable STIs and make sure you feel comfortable enough to ask them as well. But that’s just my opinion.

Good luck!


Hey Bex,

Is it true that if you have a cold, having sex will help you get better faster? Me and my roommates have been talking about this all week. Thanks!

Sniffly Susie


Hi Sniffly,

Much like other wacky attempted-cures for the common cold, sex is not exactly a cure, but a preventative measure. According to a study done by psychologist Carl Charnetski at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, people who have sex once or twice a week have increased levels of immunoglobulin A, an antigen found in saliva and mucosal linings. Immunoglobulin A (IgA) binds to pathogens (disease causing agents like bacteria or fungus) at all points of entry into the body, and then calls on the immune system to destroy them. It’s therefore the body’s first line of defence against colds and flu. The study was done on 111 undergrads ages 16-23. They were asked how frequently they’d had sex over the previous month and samples of the participants saliva were taken to measure their levels of IgA. The results showed that participants who had sex less than once a week had an increase in IgA over those who had no sex at all. Those who had sex once or twice a week had a 30% rise in IgA levels. Seems like more sex would be the cold-busting plan, but people who had sex more than twice a week had lower IgA levels than the abstainers (www.scienceagogo.com). Isn’t that weird? When asked about the study in a BBC interview Dr. Charnetski said: "My feeling is that the people in the very-frequent-sex group may be in obsessive or poor relationships that are causing them a lot of anxiety. We know that stress and anxiety make IgA go down" (news.bbc.co.uk). I personally think that’s a bit of a strange assumption, since sex is supposed to be a stress reliever, but the BBC never asks my opinion. Though they did mention a sassy Dr. Douglass Fleming who heads the Royal College of General Practitioners’ influenza research unit in Birmingham and expresses doubts about the study. He brought up the point that the study didn’t seem to consider that healthy people are more likely to have sex regularly anyway. Professor Ron Eccles who is the director of the Common Cold Centre in Cardiff also suggested that IgA levels may not be related to the body’s ability to fight off colds. He said: "There are no general measures that can quantify resistence to infection. It is not impossible that sex has an effect on the body's ability to fight off cold, but it would be very difficult to substantiate that claim from this data" (news.bbc.co.uk). So there you go. I suppose you could use the immune boosting excuse this to justify having sex twice a week, but if you want more you may have to be prepared to have the sniffles.

-Bex

Is it the weekend yet?

Nomi just came upstairs and said "you're watching tv early!". Yes I am. My presentation is set, I just cued up my clip, and now I get to watch trash for ten minutes while eating cereal and drinking tea. Steve's at home today trying to finish reading a self-reflexive feminist novel, and I'm off to do a film presentation. I love when we switch places.

I WANT THIS NOW!

Find your own pose!

Seatbelt Traits and Tendencies

After a long night of The Seatbelt pose (and Seatbelts do sleep close to ten hours a night, quite a bit longer than the typical seven and a half), couples wake feeling warm, safe, and uniquely free of doubt. Regular doses of the pose can elevate Seatbelters to a new level of personal confidence, which buoys them to great heights in love and at the gym and can lead to plum promotions and camera time.

Comfort Zone T

he Seatbelt pose is in the Sun Sleeper family. Related Sun poses to try: The Heimlich and Classic Spoons.

Health Note

For some couples (about one in every fifteen), extended periods of The Seatbelt's patented "coziness" can lead to feelings of drugged complacency. If this happens to you, try switching to the Flying Bobs pose for as many nights as it takes to get the blood flowing again.

Mommy is one of the chosen people, and Daddy believes Jesus is magic!

On Monday I went to see Jesus Camp at UofGs Docurama series. It was one of those ones that I was supposed to see with Jessie, but my Jessie replacement came instead :o). It wasn't the most prolific documentary I've ever seen, but that kind of Evangelistic training of children as an army of christ is one of those things that gets me all riled up, so I appreciated it. There's something to be said about the organization of the fundamentalists and the fact that they don't see a problem with what they're doing. It's kind of worth seeing just for the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach watching hundreds children crying and chanting "righteous judges" after being told that one third of their friends never made it after God created them... meaning that the evil abortionists killed them.

The film was described as "even-handed", but I can't see how anyone could walk away from it without feeling like Evangelists were being portrayed as completely over the top and dangerous. Generally that was fine with me as I am incredibly biased in that regard, but not necessarily the most effective way to make a documentary. It's worth seeing if only for the children's preacher going into a full-on non-sequiter shouting "and let me tell you something about Harry Potter. You do not make heros out of warlocks! If this was biblical times Harry Potter would BURN!" Indeed he would Becky, indeed he would.

Porncrastination

I'm supposed to be putting together my presentation for tomorrow, but instead I just spent the last hour watching LOST, eating cheesecake, and drinking tea. Tonight was the first time I've ever watched LOST at the same time as the rest of the world, and without Jessica Macleod. It was unpleasant. The Langs are both quite behind in their Lost-ing and their questions made me realize that I just don't remember very important details, which is where Jess would usually come in with her frequent searching and spoiler reading to fill in all the details and possibly reveal things I'm not ready to know. Lost coming back is just so bittersweet!

Today at the grocery store there was a magazine cover that inferred that TomKat has busted up and I just felt like if Jess were here I'd know all the details already! I miss that lady.

4:"I'm a Number Five!"

I'm taking some time tonight to try to value the amount of work I got done this weekend instead of feeling panicky about how much I still have to do to make it through his upcoming week. Having my brother come visit me pretty much made my weekend. I'm still feeling sick and heavy and like I have to fight the sadness, but it was really nice to be able to take a break from that on Friday.

We had some t-ho's ho cho, laughed at some innapropriateness, and watched some Clone High and the Office. It was good. It was too bad it was so late though because I definitely wasn't awake enough to be at my top visiting game. We stayed up until about 3am and Ben got a taste of the University life as I woke him up to take him to the market at 10:30am. It was kind of nice to show him what I do most Saturday mornings when I'm in Guelph. He appreciated the hippies and the Menno-made fresh doughnuts. Delicious. However he rejected the hippy food I wanted to feed him for lunch at a restaurant downtown and we ended up at a greasy spoon down the street that was unfortunately disappointing. I was glad that we had some extra time to hangout and talk in the morning. I miss that guy! I think I'd be a big mess if he hadn't come to visit!

Now Tama and I are indulging in another episode of the What Not to Wear-a-thon and some cheesecake. Because we deserve it. Then I have to do some editing and I have to read the last thirty pages of Heart of Darkness. Perhaps I just have to pretend that the week doesn't go beyond Monday.

tired bloggings of late

Things are still a little rough in the body of bex at the moment. I spent another hour and a half at student health services today (though it was much more pleasant this time because I got to watch the first Austin Powers, and that makes me happy). I have a new perscription, but I don't really want to fill it, though I guess I should. I pretty much hate feeling like this. I'm weak and exhausted and sad and it's making it hard to actually get anything done.

I have an online assignment due at midnight and I have to have a shower, and both of those seem too daunting to take on right now. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this weekend.

don't splash in me.

My body is not so well right now. I'm having major reactions to the anti-biotics I'm on. I've spent the last five hours lying on the floor bed and feeling like I couldn't move. I still feel like I can't move. The information nurse told me to stop taking the medication, and now I'm going to have go back to the walk in tomorrow to get re-medicated. This is not pleasant. It's strange being this dizzy again. I feel like I'm getting all kinds of emotional sense memories coming back from the last two years when my body and mind were more of a mess. That's made lying on the floor all day a little more painful.

Ben is supposed to come see me this weekend, so I'm hoping I'll bounce back. The trouble is this is all feeding my desire to stay home and not go to class anymore. I skipped two today and I felt incredibly guilty. Then my mom called and told me I should have just listened to her yesterday when she told me not to go to school at all, which also made me feel guilty. I'm feeling like a puddle.