Earth Hour and a Half

After a little bit of complaining from Jess that Earth Hour doesn't allow the use of laptops on battery power, the box girls settled in for some earth hour KD by kandle light. When we finished eating we started singing environmental songs. It started with Jess serenading us with a tune written by David Suzuki that her elementary school sang every earth day, the camp songs "sew the seeds" and "this pretty planet", and then moved on to some that we all knew: "Big Yellow Taxi",and "Woodstock" by Joni, and then the less environmental, but equally fun to sing Janis songs, "Bobby McGee" and "Piece of my Heart", and the more enviro ani song "Evolve", and then the Dolly Parton classic "9 to 5", which has nothing to do with anything, but Jess insisted we sing it.

It was lovely.

Sex with Bex 2.6: Sex and DisAbility

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to the Sex and DisAbility focused Sex with Bex! I've had some exciting times looking through lots of sexy websites and books that provide support and suggestions for people with disabilities, chronic pain, and illness. Yay for making sex accessible! I encourage everyone to take a look at what's out there and educate yourself on all of the fancy alternatives and adaptations out there!

Be safe lube up and send me some questions for the very last issue of Sex with Bex!


Dear Bex,

I used to be really into all things kinky and but ever since I started taking antidepressants it's rare that I want to have sex at all. Where did my sex drive go?

Less Sad, More Floppy

LSMF,

Antidepressants can be troublesome for some people in terms of reducing the desire to have sex, slowing response to stimulation so it takes longer to become aroused and longer to attain orgasm, or causing anorgasmia, the inability to attain orgasm. There are some types that are more likely to cause sexual side effects like Paxil, Zoloft, and Prozac. According to the Mayo Clinic website these may decrease sexual desire and performance in up to a fifth of people taking them. If you are on one of these, you may consider asking your doctor to switch you on to a newer selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, which can still help to manage your anxiety and depression, but is less likely to decrease your sex drive. Alternately you can look into alternative methods of managing depression, which shouldn't affect your libido at all. (http://www.mayoclinic.com, http://www.hormonehelpny.com)

If your lack of interest in sex is starting to affect your relationship with your sex partner(s) and you feel comfortable telling them about your meds, it might help to alleviate any feelings of inadequacy that might be coming up for them because of the lack of interest in sex. It's important to take care of yourself and honour how you are feeling. Don't force yourself to engage in sexual activity in order to please your partner. Try to be honest about what's going on and maybe strategize together about ways to deal with this sexual barrier.

Good luck!

Dear Bex,

I have a lot of trouble using sex toys since I don't have consistent control over my hands. Sometimes I drop the toys or can't get enough pressure. What are some ways to adapt toys or what are some toys that might work better for me?

-Lusty Lady

Dear LL

There are definitely some sex toy options for you! There are some vibrators that can actually be worn on the body around the waist so that they can stimulate the clitoris and you don't need to hold them in place. Remote control toys also exist that can be placed on the body and then turned on with a remote, but they seem to be very expensive and may not give you the pressure you're looking for. To manage the dropping of toys you may want to try a vibrator that can fit on to your hand or finger. There are many small and lightweight finger vibrators that are pretty powerful.

You can always get crafty and adapt toys by making handles largers, attaching assistive reaching devices. Experiment with some inexpensive toys to figure out what works for you. If the switches on your toys are hard manage, they can definitely be adapted. Stores like Come as You Are in Toronto offer to help with getting toys adapted, so there are definitely resources out there! (www.comeasyouare.com)


Web Resources:

http://www.queersonwheels.com/
http://www.sexualhealth.com/channel/view/disability-illness/
www.gimpsex.org
http://www.diverse-city.com/
http://www.deafqueer.org/
http://www.gimpgirl.com/
DisAbled Women on the Web http://www.disabilityhistory.org/dwa/


Books:

Queer Crips: Disabled Gay Men and Their Stories by Bob Guter and John R. Killacky
Pushing the Limits: Disabled Dykes Produce Culture edited by Shelley Tremain
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette
The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells, and Dominic Davies

All of these books are available at the GRCGED (UC107). There are also several books on Sex and DisAbility available in the University of Guelph Library.

Overneath

Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've heard the "Pirates" theme played by a bell ringing choir from an arts high school in Ohio performed in the library of Casa Loma. It was one of those definite "how did I get here?" moments, and I appreciated it.

This week has been exhausting. Field trips every day seem like a good idea, but it takes a toll! After yesterday's trip to Spadina house I got on the Greyhound and headed to Guelph for some much needed Jess snuggling and pizza gorging. We invented the best pizza ever. Just when we thought we could never enjoy Pizza Pizza again, Jess and I created a good one! Sweet chili thai sauce, chicken, roasted red peppers, and red onion. Yum-mers. We also watched Rushmore, which Jess had never seen before and it was satisfying. I hadn't seen it since my first date with Craig when I was thirteen. (Man we were cool!) I remembered liking it, but I couldn't remember any details. When we flopped into bed last night it prompted a Wes Anderson conversation that included this exchange:

Me: Did you see What's it McWhat's it?
Jess: The Darjeeling Limited?
Me: Yeah.

I love that girl. Not seeing her every day has been a problem!

This morning she and the Lang's are in T-dot searching for places to live. I was going to get up and head back to my house, but I decided it would be more enjoyable to drink tea and read Tom Robbins, take a nap, and then get up to write Sex with Bex here. So I have usurped Jess' bedroom until she gets back, and I feel great about it!

Ride that 'Hound!

Back to tdot all stuffy-headed and phlegmy-lunged and preparing for the work week. I don't wanna work. I just want to eat snacks and nap all day! I finished my last bit of academic writing (for a little while) yesterday which feels good. I only have two more deadlines hanging over me now, and then I can't even fathom another one until September. Yay!

I can't wait until this cold lifts so that I can start contacting new profs and visiting old profs and all around setting myself up to succeed. That's cheesy, but that's how I roll. I hate having real conversations with people when I'm sick because forming sentences is such a chore. Plus I look like hell at the moment and that, combined with the copious amounts of snot, doesn't give off a great first impression.

Since it's going to be a little while before I'm back in Guelph, my goal for the next two weeks is to organize my bedroom in Toronto and minimize the possessions therein. It's all part of the "combining my double life" move that's going to happen at the end of April. Transitions would be much easier if I had no stuff! Or if I had insane amounts of rent money so I could get a place immediately. Anyway, it's all ging to work, and I'm going to fit all of the important things into the tiniest storage space possible, and then I'll take prideful pictures of it.

A Chelsea Morning

I'm still quite sniffly, but there's tea a-brewin' and Chelsea buns waiting to be eaten, so I'll get over it. Damn those snotty children! It's like a hilarious souvenir I suppose. I'm going to spend today socializing and writing and possibly cleaning, and that's fine by me. I'm not really looking forward to getting back into my Toronto life this week. I would be more than happy to spend the next month and a half in Guelph depleting my funds, hanging out with friends, and eating delicious food, but instead I'm WORKING. Stupid work.

Last night I dreamt of pigs, sea creatures, night parades, and love notes.

Macaw-bre... "that's one spooky parrot!"

I have a mean cold right now, which is most definitely from spending the week with five year olds. Maybe I needed a good reason to spend a day lying down and eating soup. I wouldn't really mind the cold except for the fact that I can't taste anything. That bothers me. Anyway, I'm back in Guelph for a few days, which I definitely needed. I had a wonderful March break with the tinies, but some grown up time will be good.

I got to play teacher this week which was fun! I love five year olds because they're old enough that they know the system of how to listen, how to make a circle, and how to line up, and they see no reason to rebel. I only had six of them, so I was able to do some fun things that wouldn't have been possible with a larger group. I got to plan all of the programming and make some fun puppets and fun crafts. It kind of made me want to be a kindergarten teacher. I was holding on to that desire for awhile and then I kind of let it go... but maybe that would make me really happy?

One of my favourite moments of the week was when we were talking about our names at lunch time and a little girl asked a boy "Why is your name Bobby?" and the boy said matter of factly "Because my parents saw my penis." Good answer! Man they are hilarious! And underwear is the funniest thing ever! It's kind of funny how bodies, bodily functions, nakedness, and underwear are just always funny. Five year olds understand taboo comedy, even when they don't understand how a knock knock joke works.

It was a good week! Now I need to recover from my cold and get back to the big kids!

Bron-Y-Aur Stomp-y kinda day.

I'm exhausted, but I'm certified in First Aid again! Tomorrow I'm in charge of a bunch of five year olds and I'm really looking forward to it. At the moment I'm procrastinating... a lot. Which is dangerous when the only computer in the house is going to get taken over soon by young Ben when he gets home from work.

I'm very tired. It's like I don't have the strength to hold myself up. Like I have too much iron in my blood and there are giant magnets built into my floor. Could this be some kind of a prank? The horrifying dreams have subsided a little bit, but I've needed to have someone with me while I'm falling asleep (I've been falling asleep in the livingroom if there's no one to share my bed with).

The sun on the snow is helpful.

Dear diary, today I ate a bug.

I had a really nice moment this afternoon sitting in my bed under my excellent blankets with a cup of tea and my book and feeling like I was finally home and could finally rest. It was just so nice to breathe! My Toronto room is so cluttered and steeped in high school memorabilia that I feel like I can't breathe. Twenty-two years of accumulated Becca-bits is overwhelming. I'm starting to get sad about moving out of this place, and starting to fear never having a room of my own like this. The prospect of combining forces with someone I love and creating the ultimate functional fort is entirely exciting, but I can't help but worry about not having my tempting teal faery space.

Oh change.

sleep is like a fever

Today I've dreamt about:

this morning...

-A human sized parrot (red, orange, yellow, and black, with horns) feeding guava, nuts, and french fries to Jess and I. I was being polite and friendly, Jess just wanted the french fries.

this afternoon...

-Preparing to jump out out of a helicopter in a hot air balloon, but the basket was tied around my waist and I was much larger than the other occupants. They sat in the basket and I sat in a corner with my legs stretched out along the edges. I had to wear special shoes for my jump and I needed to ask for help tying them up because I couldn't bend over with the basket tied around my waist.We never made it out of the "helicopter" because there was a murder in the women's pay toilet (it was 5 cents to get in). Blood spattered on the window of the door. Zack Braff showed up to design a dress for a woman on the helicopter. He was immediately suspected as the murderer.

-In pursuit of the murderer the scene shifted to a cinematic one with a psychedelic dance party and a live band. I was twelve. Dawson Leary was there, and so was Matthew Lawrence. I was dancing. Boys kept rubbing up against me. I could feel their boners. Mathew Lawrence pushed me up against the stage and was rubbing up against me. He turned out to be the murderer, which I figured out while he was strangling me and grinding up against my leg.

-Next I was in my Guelph home, discovering that my roommates had built a small movie theatre where a bathroom once was. I went in to pee and a black and white movie started blaring. I jumped.

-I went downstairs and vomited up whole vegetables. Peeled carrots, peeled cucumber, peppers cut in halfs and quarters.

And then I woke up.

kermit the blog

Steve and I had the best nap every today! It was just unbelievable. It was way too short though. I'm back in T-dot again trying to sort out my week. It's very complicated not being in Guelph this coming week. I have to call my supervisor and sort things out tomorrow. The whole thing has been making me anxious all week! Greyhound is making a killing on my travel though! Oh well. That's what happens when you lead a double life.

I have some school style work to do this week, and some Centre work to tie up, but then I'm pretty much tied up all of my Guelph loose ends, except for that whole moving business. That's going to SUCK. Ah well.

Time for some late night dessert with my weekend update!